Six Shades of Sociopath

The truth is: a sociopath by any other name
is still a sociopath.
The irrelevant-for-recovery DSM
trips us up in seeing what’s really happening.
Underneath it all, they’re identically pure poop.

For amusement and because we need classifications that are useful to resolve this sickeningly real situation, I’ve assigned categories to distinguish variations of a sociopath (aka narcissist) that matter to us. – Unlike the categories in the DSM. Every sociopath creates a persona to live by. They need a front, a “personality” to present which is constructed as a face of normal.

The Persona Hooks Us

The pathological user’s persona is a key component in their arsenal of bait. What we perceive them to be is in large part what earns our trust, and lets us be comfortable in knowing them. This “personality” is a huge piece of what hooks us in. And inside of that they find the clarity or specialty of each one… the thing they covet that captivates their attention and desire.

Typically, once a sociopath has a persona, they stick with it for life, though redesigns of their persona happen when a huge mess-up requires they rebrand, even temporarily. Though “religion” can be part of any sociopath’s package, if things have gone really bad for them, this type of momentary revamp can take the shape of a prominent, announced “religious” shift.

Overall, they come in six flavors…

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The Haus-Maus, or Mr. Mom type
Mr. Big-Shot
The aww-shucks, I’m-Just-A-Guy
The Spiritual Guru, or the Preacher
The Do-Gooder, or the Humble-Charitble-Giver
The Backpack-Bum, or the Backpacking Nomad – Sometimes hidden as Mamas-Baby

The Haus Maus (House Mouse) or Mr. Mom

These doofuses lose their job within weeks of moving in unless, of course, their bait-and-hook sob story is that they lost it just before you met.

These creatures play at Mr. Mom and a combo of Personal Assistant. These posers take care of our errands, schedule appointments, do the school run. They help the kids with homework and clean the kitchen and bake. Sort of.

They convince you that they’re best at home while you work because if they worked, who’d take care of the house and kids? And childcare is so costly…

And we think this too. We think it’s a good idea while it eats away at us at the same time.

As it turns out, they’re home jacking off, playing video games, chatting online with women they have all over the globe, and generally being disgusting.

The day comes they forget to pick up the kids. Oops. Another day comes they aren’t there when you get home from work, and they aren’t there when you’re getting ready for bed. They show up at 6:00 am stinking and sleepless. Oops.

Mr. Big-Shot

This guy has a great career. He’s really respected! He knows he’s a Big Shot – either for reals or in his own head. They seem to have an actual hefty paycheck, yet your money disappears into the ether…you buy tickets, dinners, and somehow they have your credit card. These shit-bags are attorneys, doctors, in politics, or people in entertainment, game development, tech, or on a corporate ladder.

If you look closely, even in these areas, like any other sociopath, they job-hop or work in a rotating environment with new people regularly.

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Filling A Function

They may truly be great a the job, at which they pretend to be a normal human, because it requires being ruthless. They’re cruel and lauded for it. Even protected whether they function on an international, national, local, or in-their-own-mind level.

While every sociopath believes they are the bees-knees, these ego-driven turds are living in megalomania. Every Mr. Big Shot has hundreds of people who know they are in fact, Mr. Big Fraud… this isn’t enough though; it takes something huge to end their machinations.

Hidden In Protected Jobs

You can likely think of a few we all know about: Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Jeffrey Epstein, and the infamous serial killer and rapist, Ted Bundy who even used the alias “Richard Burton” and pretended to be a cop, “Officer Roseland”.

Bundy worked for a time as the Director at the Seattle Crime Prevention Advisory Commission, where, believe it or not, he supposedly wrote a rape-prevention pamphlet! Well, he certainly knew a thing or two about rape, didn’t he?

Earlier Bundy worked at Washington’s Department of Emergency Services as well. Government positions. Protected. Respected. There are many more. You may know of one of these Mr. Big Shots in the public eye or one in your own hometown – maybe you dated one.

Just-A-Guy

This scum bucket is on a different rung of the faux-career ladder than Mr. Big Shot. He’s a teacher, a person who “owns” their own small business such as a jujitsu gym. He might be a bus driver, a firefighter (sad, I know), or a cop (not a surprise). They appear to be spunky, sincere, hard workers, and solid. “Appear to be” is the key word here. The happy to be here blue collar predator.

When the surface is scratched things fall apart. As a teacher their young students are prey. That firefighter exam…? They barely passed it, and they owe wads of borrowed money to their firefighting brothers.

Licensed to Kill

As a cop, they’re one of the brutes who beat and kill in the line of duty as well as off duty. That license to carry and use weapons, to intimidate and be violent is appealing to many sociopaths. A flexible schedule and the built-in authority is cherished by them and used to their advantage in doing whatever they want to do.

And don’t forget… some cops just pretend to be a cop; Ted isn’t the only psycho to do that. Impossible, we think… but not when the sociopath’s most desired “thing” is other people’s pain.

Eventually, we discover the same porn on their laptop as we do with The Haus-Maus or Mr. Big Shot. Before long there’s the same confusion and weirdness as with The Backpack-Bum or any of them. Why? Because a sociopath is a sociopath is a sociopath. Even if you’re calling them a narcissist.

The Spiritual Guru: The Preacher

Okay… watch out for this maniac. These pieces of poop can exist on any economic scale or in any educational or class realm. They can exist in the avant-garde spiritual element to the traditional evangelical to the hard-to-pinpoint, I’m Catholic – or whatever they claim. – Their feigned religion of choice can take the form of a dark-dark devotion to the devil and a pretend-pagan shade.

The focus here is on the sociopath that claims this as the forefront of “who they are”, as in religious, spiritual, guru leaders. – Otherwise, a mention of religion can show up in any sociopath as an excuse to do or not do something or to lord it over us.

This brand of sociopath is sometimes tried on and put back down off and on throughout a sociopath’s life. When things get rough, they pick it up as a way to expunge their transgressions and play “new person”.

Unearned Authority

The Guru or Preacher is highly sticky once the prey is ensnared. Here’s why: we extra, extra believe them because we’re socially conditioned not to question someone’s religious faith. – Even if their faith is slanted to the sinister. – This binds prey, and particularly the devoted wife into a chokehold. Pretty simple. Playing Guru or Preacher gives an instant authority and instant deeper trust gushes from us.

Think of Jim Jones from the 70s, David Koresh of the Branch Davidians, as iconic examples. There are so many more. In Los Angeles for example, is the cult talked about in this article on the documentary Holy Hell, and there have been/are thousands.

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The Do-Gooder: A Humble Caring Soul

You know the guy – or gal – as this one often is. That fighter-for-a-cause or dog-rescue Queen. These benevolent fraudsters can also be on any economic scale. You’ve got all the possibilities from The Tiger King‘s Carole Baskin to that woman in town who rescues pit bulls and anything in between. A “cause” is their designated fake mission in life. They’re humble in demeanor and “care”… a lot.

The humble Do-Gooder is soft-spoken in love-bombing and grooming moments. They have a smooth calm that draws us in. – Then at other times, you might witness them throwing on this facade, like a shapeshifter, in new settings or in public situations. They’re polite and diffident – but – take note of how engaging and bold they are at the same time.

I Married a Mr. Big Shot, Do-Gooder Combo

In my case, the faux-entertainment industry scammer I married pretended to donate $100s of thousands of dollars to some kind of feed-the-children fund through U.N.I.C.E.F. – This one was a Mr. Big Shot only-in-his-own-mind and pretended to be one out in the world. Many, many people believed him.

As proof he was a Mr. Big Shot, he told me more than once that he gave up his entire income from a particular previous project. When I heard this gem, rather than being impressed, a part of me thought, omg, that is so dumb. Why would you give away all of your money?! – Well, naturally, he didn’t! All lies… Neither the project nor the money was real.

Later, after I’d kicked him out and he had to flee to hide, he spent a brief time in two of the countries he invades pretending to be a minister. Those facades were uber-shallow and lasted all of three months.

Fraud and Fake

Faking his way through a film project while we were married, one day I heard him make a call to ask to set up a donation stream to this same organization. The call started as if he thought they’d “know who he was” – hilarious.

It progressed to his stuttering confusion. After hanging up he was genuinely baffled and had to feign upset and frustration that: they don’t want it! Fact: the organization he said he donated to previously doesn’t exist; the person on the other end of the line, a representative of U.N.I.C.E.F. had no clue what he was talking about.

The Backpack-Bum: The Couch Surfing Lifestyle

These jokers – the back-packing nomads are the most obvious in the inherent laziness that permeates this pathological. They give into it brazenly. They lay on the couch all day. Their mooching can be pretty evident even in the early days. They really do very little to cover up their aimless uselessness and lack. Their entire collection of tattered worldly goods fits into one dirty backpack. – If the backpack breaks, they’re fine with a grocery bag.

After this debacle ends, we’re really aghast and embarrassed that we could have thought they were cute. Usually outright in their homelessness; often fans of lounging playing video games and staring at screens they have low temperaments and are rarely roused to anything above a passive demeanor.

Now, this flavor of this sub-species can sometimes hide their backpack worth of belongings and their penchant for doing nothing by living off an older relative, usually their mom. The Mamas-Baby dwells in his mom’s basement, or backroom, or takes over the whole house and sponges off her no matter her age or theirs.

They’ve got a story like any sociopath to go along with their situation: a sob story in which they’re the victim of an illness, or another person who did them wrong and so here they are, penniless and dependent but trying to do — something grand. Or, the story is, my mom needs me, I live here to take care of my mom, as in, I’m a do-gooder at heart. LOL!

From Docile to Violent

That is to say – unless they’re violent. Some of these hobos tramp from couch to couch as heavy drug users. When meth comes into the equation violence and really nasty, nasty personal habits and proclivities fall into the scenario.

These stinky rats are fine being dirty, sleeping rough, and not showering for days. There isn’t much they’re after in an obvious way. However, never forget every sociopath steals. – You could say their entire life is theft of someone’s heart, soul, mind, body, and life.

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All In All: Every Sociopath Is Identical

There are only a few things that vary from sociopath to sociopath. I’ll list them here.

Here are the only ways in which one sociopath varies from another – notice I’m not listing gender as a variation. This is because any gender is the same as the other if they’re a sociopath. It goes without saying that ethnicity, country of birth, the family of birth, and age are not a consideration. – A sociopath is a sociopath is a sociopath.

These facts about the lives of sociopaths may sound impossible if you’re in that relatively still innocent and gentle place after sustaining tinges of shocking discoveries but haven’t bitten into the whole pie yet. Nevertheless, this is what they are.

They Each and All…

Are 100% self-focused
Any action they take or word they utter is out of their own needs
They lie, steal, cheat
Don’t pay proper taxes or at all
Fake illnesses to get out of things – especially that “talk” in a relationship
Use sex as a binding tool and their own “enjoyment’ in whatever fashion they prefer
Read more about what they are here: D.I.Y. Guide to a Sociopath’s Brain and Psyche

The Only Real Differences

How much drug use there is – this can be hidden
The level of alcohol consumption – this can be hidden
- Some use zero drugs or alcohol but this is rare
The number of children they have – not all are discovered in many cases
If they gamble or not – this is an either-or
The sum of money they have at one time
The amount of debt they’re in
How violent they are
- If violence is shown to every prey or is limited to some
If – and the number of times they’ve raped someone – including marital rape
How much porn and what kind
Where their sexual escapades lie: BDSM, and etc. – anything you can think of
If they see prostitutes or work as one
The number of times they’ve been arrested
The things they’ve done that they could have been arrested for
If they’re pedophiles or not
The number of people they’ve killed – this can be none or can be many
If they harm animals or not
How many marriages they have had or are in at one time
The number of cities, or countries they act in
Rotating places they live, even in one town
The number of identities or alias they use
How high profile or blended in as a part of the regular populace
The number of prey they maintain at once
How sexual in nature their preferred way of life is – think Epstein and R. Kelly
Incest or not, or as a way of life
How aggressively they push for anal sex – or hold that habit back
Their favorite food

One is Like Another

Otherwise, these humans-of-abnormal-brain are absolutely identical in how they think, what they believe about themselves, how they see the world, and how they use other people. – Knowing this information objectively and stone-cold is how we win. Make sure you take it in. – And you know, if these articles help, sessions with me are worth thinking about.

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As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.