Why Do We Believe Lies?

Why do we believe the lies
the narcissist or sociopath tells?
Because we’re normal.
It’s normal to believe what people say.

Here’s the thing, it’s normal to believe other people. Believing others is hard-wired into our normal human hearts. We’re born this way. We trust and believe others as such a regular part of life, it’s something we barely notice.

Believe The Narcissist, The Sociopath?

When we’re ensnared by a sociopath or narcissist we begin to doubt the things they say, and at the same time, we doubt our doubt. We feel weird about what they’re saying, yet we still believe them.

And more importantly, we behave or reply to them next as if we believed what they said.

It’s natural to do this. We can’t *not* do this, because human beings need harmony. Our wired-in need for consistency that runs through and between thoughts, words, and actions is incredibly difficult to set aside.

The Lies of the Narcissist, The Sociopath Make Confusion

As the lies come in, somewhere in our minds, hearts, bodies, and even our subconscious, the lie registers as a lie. We’re thrown into confusion. Our cognitive harmony is shaken.

Without this harmony, without consistency that aligns with what we expect and feel is “right”, we fall into confusion or “cognitive dissonance”. We remain in this confusion until we resolve the disparity. We must make do – no matter what it is.

Making Sense Of Lies

Our bodies and minds work to instantly make sense of the disturbance and confusion in the best way they can. The problem is, that we’re using our normal life thinking to try to understand the narcissist/sociopath. We must take the translation of their words and actions to the root of their meaning because this is the only way to truly restore our lives.

It’s my mission here to offer knowledge that goes beyond thinking they’re “wounded souls” or are this way because of abuse they suffered, or do what they do for “control”. There is so much more to it and at the same time, the reasons behind their lies, gaslighting, and behaviors are basic and much more simple than we tend to make them.

Learn how to decode the confusion.

Restore your life by truly unwinding the confusion.

Believing Is Normal

When we meet someone new, we believe every word they say, that’s normal. When we get into feeling more for them, we believe and trust them more. That’s normal too.

Believing the lies of a narcissist – the sociopath we fall in love with happens by an involuntary mechanism. We believe others out of a natural function that’s wired into the (normal) human psyche.

We’re wired to connect, bond, trust, and unite. We believe others. Our existence is dependent on believing others. The survival of human beings is dependent upon trust between ourselves and others.

Our “Normal” Bends To Benefit Them

This is a piece of our normal wired-in natural belief and trust is leveraged to the sociopath’s or narcissist’s advantage. Looking for a lie is abnormal and unnatural to us. We believe the person we’re sleeping with. Until we experience this kind of life-jacking, we don’t know that this kind of lying and deception is possible or in fact, exists.

We Reconcile Things That Don’t Make Sense

Even in normal, everyday situations as normal people, we adjust our minds to feel okay with what’s happening around us. We do this at work, within families, and relationships and over issues or social situations. We all do it, and it isn’t always a damaging outcome.

When under the spell of a sociopath, this natural function to “make sense” and make things “fit” intensifies. We rationalize and explain things to ourselves on hyper-drive…even when it doesn’t quite make sense. We land on an idea that fits and tuck it away so we can continue in (what we believe is) the relationship. This is normal.

Breaking Up With Evil

Breaking Up with Evil: Escaping Coercive Control on Amazon

Five women’s true stories of being ensnared hauled through the confusion, lies, fear, and pain, and breaking away.

True crime. Told in their own words with nothing unsaid. Find validation, and see new glimpses of truth as these five women share their stories… Stories that could be any of ours.

Schedule your unique guided recovery here.

Examples of Finding Cognitive Harmony

Let’s say we work for a company that we feel doesn’t treat employees fairly. It bothers us. There are days when the HR Department’s new rules or edicts make us cringe. So what do we do? Quit? Give up our pension, salary, and health plan? Take on the risk of not being able to pay the mortgage or rent? – Usually not.

We might be a member of a club or church that discriminates in its quiet way against certain groups or income brackets. Do we throw out the benefits of the organization and membership? Or do we reconcile and focus on other things of value that we gain from attending?

We do find a way to reconcile and rebalance our cognitive harmony. It’s something we all do. It could be that we quit the group or the job, it could be we find ways to stay and feel okay about it. For each of us, it depends on how far afield the difference is and what it takes to rationalize it.

The Price of Believing a Narcissist or Sociopath

Ultimately, rationalizing our sense of what’s wrong rather than right to get along with someone else goes only so far before it’s unhealthy and eats away at our soul. Out time with a pathological liar is destructive to your heart, body, mind, and soul.

There’s no way around that, and yet rationalizing the cognitive dissonance stemming from their lies is unavoidable. – Until we’ve seen enough and hit the point where we can’t accept it any longer.

Believe and Trust Your Gut

The day comes when our gut speaks louder than the rationalizing mind. Trust your gut. Have faith in your own life. Embrace your life. Be your own saving grace. We begin taking our life back by cutting all contact between ourselves and the user who hijacked us. Let who we are shine. Be human. Live in the light.

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

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As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.

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