Dating a sociopath feels like
an episode of American Horror Story.
The reality is, it happens in real life.
Wondering if we’re crazy is a sure sign
we’re dating a sociopath or a narcissistic user.
Dating a sociopath aka dating a narcissist can only lead one place. There’s a surreal feeling you can’t shake. That horrifying feeling that the world has dropped from beneath your feet. And thinking you’re losing you’re mind… asking, am I crazy?
You can feel in a double-bind of “crazy” crazy dating a sociopath because horror-of-all-horrors, you just might feel that you still love them even though they’ve done horrific things. Even with the lies and all their narcissistic behavior.
We’re Perfectly Normal
It’s normal and natural human to think maybe… we ask in a tiny moment, in a tiny part of our mind, Am I crazy!? And what the heck, like a normal person this thought would stem from the fact art they took the time to tell us we’re crazy!
But remember…? They lie. That narcissist (if you’re still calling them that) or that sociopath you’re dating loves to tell all their prey that they’re crazy.
Dating a Sociopath Make Us Feel Crazy
We’re not crazy, we’re just discovering we’re ensnared by what’s called a sociopath or person with an antisocial personality disorder. And it’s okay if you call them a narcissist.
It’s true that we’re feeling crazy because we’re escaping a sociopath or a narcissist as they’re sometimes called.
How Deeply Do You Want to Recover?
Confusion, Terror, Loss…
The whirlwind of confusion, terror, damage, loss, anger, and ptsd caused by one of these scumbags makes us think we’re crazy.
It’s absolutely normal that after the break up we find ourselves running around calling people, strangers even and asking questions. We’re writing warning notes and emails to women we don’t know. Looking up addresses, sifting through Facebook pages.
Googling Is the Answer
Looking up addresses, sifting through Facebook pages. We might make a fake Facebook account, a fake email to check on those other women, or on him, or her, or them.
No matter what crazy things you do… You’re still not crazy. Not really. Not even if you look into getting a private investigator. Dating a sociopath leaves us thinking everyone’s talking about us. It leaves us feeling absolutely crazy – we are not.
Dating a Sociopath or Narcissist Brings Out a Sense of Crazed
Feeling crazy while dating a narcissist or a sociopath happens. And in fact, it all begins day one. Dating a sociopath gets crazier and confusion escalates from there. It all spikes and climbs form that first swirling sensation of having found Mr. Beyond Perfect. Right there in the chaos of Ms. Beyond Right.
As things spin long and we finally get to a place that we have to stop it all, we’re in for more crazy. This is because unfortunately, the worst time of feeling like maybe we’re crazy is when it’s over. It’s all a result of being lied to unknowingly, deceived unknowingly and then: suddenly knowing it.
Dating a sociopath leaves us feeling crazy as we begin to realize something’s wrong. And we feel still crazier after we come to a pretty firm realization, this person I’m dating is nuts. – Maybe at this point, we’ve heard the words sociopath or narcissist.
Crazy We Are Not: Crazy They Are
Even still, we are not crazy. (But they sure are.) Feeling crazy is the natural reaction and physiological result of being involved with a liar. But no, crazy we are not.
I guarantee you’ll feel more and more un-crazy the more purposeful and deliberately you come out of the emotional spin and into a way of looking at things that resolves the crazy. As we get further away from them and more into the truth crazy diminishes and they do too.
5 Signs They Are the Crazy One
Sign Number One
A sure sign that we’re dating Mr. Nut-So is when they lose it and call us names. This is so whether it’s done to our face or in the smear campaign. Narcissists who are really sociopaths love to call us things like, crazy, psycho, stalker, idiot, evil, devil, whore, liar, cheater and other delightful things.
He’s doing this because he’s afraid. Yes. They are afraid of us. Because they need us. – We do not need them in any way though it might feel like it. If they know were suspecting they’re up to something the anger and name-calling come out.
Once they know their cover is blown the rage at this shows up in scenarios that inspire our intimidation and shame. They rage and then slap that nice-face back in place before we see too much of the sociopath behind the mask. The narcissist and the sociopath have an intense fear of losing their grip on us.
Crazy Comes For Deception and Lies: The Other Women
We’re lied to about anything under the sun. Frequently one of the first lies we start to suspect is the lie about “other women”. We feel like there’s something going on, there’s someone else… things are just not right.
We feel – and know – that it isn’t us they’re into. Bizarrely this can draw us more deeply into wanting them and into wanting the narcissistic sociopath we’re dating to want us.
Here’s What They Think:
“To draw you closer, an aura of desirability is created—of being wanted and courted by many. It will become a point of vanity for you to be the preferred object of their attention, to win them away from a crowd of admirers. They manufacture the illusion of popularity by surrounding themselves with members of the opposite sex: friends, former lovers, and your eventual replacement. Then, they create triangles that stimulate rivalry and raise their perceived value.” – Adapted, “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene, Sociopaths and Triangulation
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Sociopaths and Narcissists are Predictable
The sociopath uses a few standard tactics to keep us spinning. One Huge-O-Horrible one is: he’ll talk about another woman who is better than we are, who loves him better, who understands him more, and how bad we are by comparison.
This is called triangulation. It keeps us wanting to make him happy. It keeps us wanting to prove we’re good enough, better than her, (or them) and he should love us.
The real truth is: She’s not having any fun either, or soon won’t be. He’s going to take her (and all of them) through the five stages of true love scam as well. And… by now we know the truth about sociopaths’ sex lives don’t we…?
Vanity Has Nothing To Do With It
I don’t believe for one second this extra crazy-making losing has anything to do with vanity. There’s a certain aspect built into the bones and DNA of a pathological user (a sociopath).
Dating a sociopath is something people fall into due to their innate over the top effect and magnetism over the people who admire, or like, or feel they love them. This effect naturally leaves us feeling crazy.
Additionally, it’s natural to bond and to try to make things work. We’re not looking for someone to be lying or deceiving us; we’re looking to make things work.
Humans Need Validation and Praise
“When praised highly by others, one feels that there is no hardship one cannot bear. Such is the courage that springs from words of praise. …When praised, one does not consider one’s personal risk, and when criticized, one can recklessly cause one’s own ruin. Such is the way of common mortals.” – The True Aspect of All Phenomenon, Nichiren Daishonin
Confusion is a Sign of Dating a Narcissist aka Sociopath
Sign Number Two
The things he says make us confused. – Because the things he says are confusing. They don’t make logical sense. They aren’t expressing genuine emotions or thoughts or many genuine ideas.
There are things we can learn to decipher and decode the sociopath or narcissist we’re dating. We can come to comprehend everything the sociopath does and says so that we aren’t bamboozled but can break free.
Feeling Inexplicably Not-Happy Signals an Abnormal Relationship
Sign Number Three
A definite sign of dating a sociopath or dating a narcissist comes in this mind-numbing misery. An unquantified, indefinable sense of unhappiness, of uneasiness and sadness.
It is not a sign that we’re crazy to be unhappy with a sociopath – there is no happiness to be had dating a sociopath or dating a narcissist. The emotional confusion and pain a sociopath inspires are subtle and obvious at the same time. It creates complete misery.
Trust Your Gut
Know that your body is telling us something with this unhappiness. Follow our instincts! Emotions are a symphony of chemical changes in the body. If yours are going up and down like a roller coaster and crashing harder after the drop each time: trust your gut. You’re not crazy. You’re suffering. We all deserve to be happy.
Listen to your intuition. Take some quiet time. Break the patterns with him. Next time he says something insulting or provoking: stay silent. Or give an answer that’s not the norm. Maybe something very calmly without hostility, or hurt, or anger like: well, if that’s how you feel about it, that’s your problem, and walk away. Keep cool.
Reach Out: Talk To and Tell People Who Love Us
Neon Sign Number Five
We feel afraid to tell people what’s happening. This is another effect of the sociopath’s spellbinding. The way we feel is so mixed up, and we’re afraid to get him in trouble or to make him mad and… maybe we’re just crazy.
Let’s stop that train wreck of post-trauma emotions turning into mistaken thoughts and ideas right there. The sociopath has a built-in effect on other humans; they scare us naturally with no effort on their part. This is an effect we’re going to feel for a long time even after he’s out the door and the lock has been changed.
We’ll go through trauma and post-trauma which is fear and doubt and confusion and feeling crazy. It is another illusion of their effect and the natural response to the deceit and falsehood they are. Know this… It will get easier.
We Try to Resolve Things & Take Responsibility
Tell-Tale Sign Number Five
Let’s say we still think maybe we’re crazy. Here – for fun and educational purposes is a test. A test to take to determine if we’re a sociopath. (Ha. We are so not.) Just a few easy questions that will fly by in a minute or two. Notice the questions. Notice the answers on the far end of the spectrum that indicate someone is a sociopath. Not such a fine list of traits.
Sociopath Test
Memorize the 20 characteristics of a sociopath, if you see one of these characteristics they’re likely all there. Reframe every nuance of interaction with him or with her through this lens. Set ourselves free, reframe the nightmare of dating a sociopath or a narcissist. Find your way back to happy.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Time to Thrive!
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