Doctor, Lawyer: Conman, Thief

Doctor, lawyer, conman, thief.
They’re an accountant, a chef, or an executive.
Nah. Maybe they know how to use a copier,
file a grant or sell a car,
but they’re a person pretending to be a person
pretending to do a job.
Look again…See through the facade.

We meet this new gorgeous woman, or cool kind of bloke, and think, this guy is amazing! and she’s incredible! And it really seems they are. The most frequent thing people think when confronted and sucked in by a con artist is: this guy (gal) has done more in one lifetime than most people could do in twenty lifetimes!!

sociopath at work pathological predator coercive control

He’s a doctor or a lawyer. She’s a baker, in real estate, or teaches math… Well kind of. Here’s the thing, if they’re a pathological user or a person of pathological sociopathy their real full-time job is something else.

Then, they’re a person pretending to be a person pretending to do that job they get a paycheck from.

But – since you didn’t know about sociopathic liars, you believe them. And paint a very rosy story to go with their words that fill in the details of how amazing they are.

Nothing About Them Is What We Think It Is

Along with it being normal to believe things people say, the influence of the sociopath (aka narcissist aka psychopath) upon people who are unaware that they exist, carries with it a powerful pull. We believe they’re more amazing than anyone we’ve ever met.

This is normal. This is the power of influence of the inherent nature of a pathological user aka sociopath aka a person of coercive control. We’re normal. They’re something else.

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Normal is Full of Natural, Spontaneous Feeling

Every around us has an effect on us. People, things, and every item has an effect on whoever experiences it. When we see a gorgeous sunset, for example, a reaction, a spontaneous emotional response to seeing the sunset is naturally drawn out from within our lives.

This happens simply by looking at the gorgeous sunset. The sunset doesn’t have a “ski” that makes us have a certain emotion around it. It’s a natural reaction from our lives in response to what ht sunset is. When we see a newborn baby, another emotional response rises up from within our lives. When we see a car accident another entirely different emotional reaction comes forth instantaneously, spontaneously, and naturally from our lives.

In that same way, when we meet a person we have a natural and spontaneous response to them. We immediately catalog them into categories of “nice”, “cute”, “cool”, “boring”, and so on.

When they tell us about themselves, we believe it. And we categorize this too. Ah, Harvard… She’s smart. And, Oh, self-made businessman… Impressive! And this is normal too.

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We Believe People And Connect

Their real job is using the job in order to look legit to the normal world so that they can access and take what they want while using and making use of others behind the “costume” of this fancy job title they scammed their way into.

Additionally, when we meet new people and they tell us about their lives, we elaborate in our heads. Without realizing it, we take what they say and pop it into our own life framework. We make an assessment and conclusions and paint in fine details of their lives and match them in our head – kinda like a slot machine rolling through cherries and bananas until we land on a full matching row: Jackpot.

We All Like to Have People Like Us In Our Lives

We match ourselves up alongside the people we meet. We’re looking for similarities and differences. This is normal. – They really aren’t good liars, as good people don’t expect people to lie.

We aren’t looking for a lie; we’re looking for someone we can relate to, a friend, a colleague, someone to go out with, to date… Heaven’s to Betsy maybe even someone to marry. – And this is normal.

We get to be what we are. Us being us, does not make them what they are. They are what they are and it’s entirely separate and aside from anything about us. We get to be everything we are in the full gorgeous scope of human normal.

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Doctor, Lawyer; Conman, Thief: Normal Believes and Trusts

So if they say they went to college, we believe it. The thing is, they might have gone to college or have – or say they have – advanced degrees. But I’ll tell you one another sure thing: if they have any degree of any kind, they didn’t do it on their own. Other people wrote their papers, did their work or they bought and stole it… And likely seduced (conned) a professor or two.

Some sociopaths can have a natural talent or ability at a particular thing and this can aid their facade greatly. The thing is though… They have no interest in legitimate work or doing anything the way we do as normal people. We’ve all seen them lie even when they don’t need to.

Predators, Sociopaths, and Users Don’t Understand Normal

They simply can’t distinguish when they could do something or gain something by being honest by our normal-world interpretation of honesty. And they just don’t want to.

They are only what they are: fake, liars, deceivers, and frauds. While untangling this nightmare, keep this note-to-self on your fridge or bathroom mirror: These creatures from the darkest hell: Need us. To nab us to get what they need, they need to seem normal.

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There’s No One Real Inside Them

It’s natural that we believe someone when they tell us, I’m an interior designer. Or, I work as a contractor. Heck we believe them when they say, I went to North Point and I’m in the CIA.

Why wouldn’t we believe them?! It’s normal to believe and trust people. It’s highly abnormal to lie about who you are. Only specific mental conditions allow someone to do this. Namely, only pathological predators, sociopaths do this.

That DSM and it’s medical descriptions are not meant for our use. They don’t fully support our understanding, escape or healing and recovery.

A con artist is a sociopath… even if you call them a “narcissist”. A sociopath at work is a person pretending to be a person, pretending to do a job. There’s no one there really working. They’re not interested in the job. Their real job is using the job in order to look legit to the normal world so that they can access and take what they want while using and making use of others behind the “costume” of this fancy job title they scammed their way into.

There Are Real Answers

Sociopaths – what you might be calling a narc, or a narcissist but is really not if they’re using or stealing your stuff, lying, and the cause of confusion – they are con artists – sociopaths. If they’re pretending to be something they aren’t while using others, they’re ordinary sociopaths. And this is quite bad enough.

This is the simplest, cleanest, clearest way for us to think of the “names” to call them; the words to use to label them when we’re extricating our body, mind, heart, and soul from their demon clutches. – That DSM and its medical descriptions are not meant for our use. They don’t fully support our understanding, escape, or healing and recovery.

Keep It Simple Always

For simplicity think of it this way, a sociopath aka narcissist is conning us. They aren’t who they say they are. They have zero regard for our well-being and use us and many others simultaneously for things they need, things they want, and simply because they can’t *not* do this.

That annoying person with narcissistic glitches is a different and softer ball of wax. They aren’t pathological liars. They don’t use other people to live off of as a con artist aka sociopath does.

The Sun is Hot, Water is Wet, A Sociopath is a Cockroach

The sun is hot. Water is wet. Ice is cold. This is so no matter how much sunscreen we wear, what kind of wet suit we have on, or how many layers of puffy coat. A cockroach, is a cockroach, is a sociopath, is a sociopath.

No matter who or what we are as normal people; no matter our level of self-love or our boundaries… These things just don’t play into it. These hijackings happen because of the lying doctors and lawyers … who are underneath the facade, only this: conman, and thief.

We’re the ones in control They’re transparent, bad liars, and stupid. We just didn’t know people could or would lie or deceive in this way. because, well… Normal people don’t. Only sociopaths do this.

We Can Learn to See What They are For What it Is

Gain the skills to see the real deal. A sociopath by any other name is still a sociopath. – And no matter what they tell you unless you talked to the records office and the Dean of Students and saw the official transcripts and degree we can think a bit further.

Consider this: that they didn’t even cheat their way through and don’t have a diploma from The Best University in the World or any other educational establishment… And never are they really a doctor or lawyer… Every one of them is a conman and thief.

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As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.