Privacy, Security and Finances After a Narcissist or Sociopath

After a sociopath or narc
blows through your world, privacy really matters.
You can remain anonymous and get your life back.

Privacy and anonymity matter after a narc or sociopath rampages through our life. Go full no contact and get off marketing call lists too! And… raise your credit score after they trashed it.

Let’s be real. In the aftermath, our PTSD minds are filled with fear. There’s a time period of terror after the sociopath is gone, and after no contact, we’re still spooked. For sure. Maybe for a while, that’s okay. It’s also normal. And honestly, caution is wise and reasonable.

Privacy now becomes a real issue that may have been very much on the back burner before we were burned by a sociopath or narcissist. Here’s how we can keep our privacy and still participate in the digital world.

Privacy on Cell Phones, Social Media, and Identity Privacy

Who’d have thought our phone ringing could send us into such a panic? Terrorize us, really…? There are things we can do.

There are lots of ways to be more private that make sense not only now, but always.

Aside from side-stepping the sociopath’s hoovering, you can stop spam emails, put an end to fundraising calls, and get off the carpet cleaner’s call list.

How free would you like to be?

Schedule coaching here

Privacy and Block Random Incoming Calls

You can get yourself on a National Do-Not-Call Registry, right there… Use that link. This is a US Government website where you can add your number to a list that keeps telemarketers from calling us. No windshield repair calls, no carpet cleaning calls, no home insulation calls.

This do-not-call list does not get you out of tele-fundraising calls. They’re different. Non-profits are exempt from this government “do not call” list. Want to get those campaigners and fundraisers to stop pinging you?

Tired of Fundraising Calls?

Are you getting calls from places – causes – such as The Nature Conservancy, The ACLU, The Humane Society, the ASPCA, Smile Train, Habitat for Humanity, and moveon.org? Those are made by a person getting paid minimum wage by companies like Telefund or GiveRight, or Donor Services Group. They’re calling you on “behalf of” a political campaign or cause.

That person on the headset at a computer terminal on an auto-computerized phone-dialer system has very little power, and is not directly affiliated with that non-profit cause you love, but is an employee of the boiler-room, subcontracted fundraising house hired by the non-profit.

Privacy and Peace: How To Get Off Call Lists

No one likes those annoying fundraising calls… No one… Least of all the person placing them. It’s a thankless and very hard job that barely pays the bills and mostly doesn’t pay the bills. – How do know? I’ve done it.

Story: A perfect example – a seemingly harmless example – of how we do things we’d never otherwise do when under their spell.

When I married the con man and then afterwards realized I’d have to sponsor him for a green card, I needed to alter the income I had at the time for the sponsorship in order to demonstrate to USCIS that I had a “stable” W-2 type income, as I was freelance, and independent 1099 income based at the time (still am, always was, always will be).

So, I trudged up and down the pavement – literally – in the blazing LA sun walking into places dropping of my resume. – Keep in mind the actual reality that: no one walks in Los Angeles aside frame those without a hard-walled-door that-closes-and-locks actual home or apartment. – I applied to be a receptionist, an admin assistant, a what ever – all jobs I’m badly suited for and don’t like doing. I wanted a job instantly, needed one immediately.

Nothing was panning out and I got only the weirdest looks and kind, yet pitying responses. Had this been any other circs, it would have been totally demoralizing. Yet I was energized and unbelievably determined. – I’d come back home after hours of pounding the pavement, my “dressed-up” business attire all in a sweaty rumple, in heat stroke and empty handed… to the nutbag slouching behind his laptop – doing nothing but hunting as we now all know. He’d “congratulate” me for “working hard”!!! Lol!

Then one day I remembered I’d worked years ago part-time at a call center – briefly – doing fundraising! And that this call center was within three miles of where I lived. I looked them up, called, applied, got an interview – discovering they had moved locations to Hollywood on Sunset Blvd…. Did the interview and got the job all in one day, and started part-time the next. – They hire absolutely anyone…

This turned out to be a hideously toxic environment staffed predators galore. And then also when the poo-hit-the-fan in my faux-marriage, however a few key supervisors could not have been kinder or more generous towards my situation and in accommodating my needs.

And no matter how lowly this job, man-oh-man was I glad I had it. By then it had grown into holdilng a position of responsibility for the Avon Breast Cancer walks. It was one of my coworkers in this department that recommended the absolutely fantastic attorney I used for my annulment from the dirtbag. It was here that was a safe-haven away from the loon – who was still in my place for ten-days while getting his ducks in a row to leave after I kicked him out.

Cell Phone Privacy

If you can do it financially, get a new cell phone. Consider this: skip transferring old contacts. Start fresh.
Get a new cell phone number. Verizon has an automated system for this.
Or get a new old-school landline.
Screen all calls.
Don’t pick up calls from BLOCKED or UNKNOWN or UNAVAILABLE and the like.
Turn off “Locations” in your device’s Settings, unless you’re getting driving directions or mapping on in GPS or ordering a Lyft or Postmates.

Everyone Doesn’t Need An Update: Who really needs our new number? Give that some realistic and considered thought. The real thing is, we can skip our credit card and the bank or our doctor. When your doctor’s office needs it, then you can hand it out, but for now give yourself a break. Give it out only to the people you want to be able to call you. This means absolutely no one connected to you-know-who. – Be sure to update the Uber or Postmates app before you order and that’s about it!

How To Block Your Number When Placing Calls

You can block your outgoing number when you make calls!! If you’re recalling from North America, punch in *67 on a landline phone and then the rest of the number you’re calling. If you’re using a cell phone you would enter #31# followed by the number you want to call.

The person receiving your call will see ANONYMOUS or PRIVATE or some such indicator on their caller ID or cell screen. Voila! Privacy.

If you’re in Europe, New Zealand, or Australia you can block your outgoing number from the receiver’s view by pushing #31 before the number you’re calling on Global System for Mobile cell phones (GSM).

From a land line in North America calling out: *67
On a cell phone in North America calling out: #31#
If in Europe, New Zealand and Australia push #31 before calling out
From a US cell phone making an outgoing international call: enter 00 instead of + before putting in the number.

Hold Onto Your Number:

Skip entering your real phone number online
Use a dummy number, maybe an old number of your own
Store club cards enter any combo of ten numbers. You still get all the coupons and bargains.
Don’t enter your number online for social media accounts
Use a dummy number everywhere aside from text verify,

When on a call with AT&T and they say, “What number can I use to reach you in case we get disconnected?” say, you can’t. They’ll be politely flabbergasted. They’ll ask you for a call back number in case you get disconnected two or three more times as they’re trained to do. Be firm. Say, there is no call back number. They might say, is the number you’re calling for the call back number? You can say, no it isn’t… or block your outgoing call so the number doesn’t show.

Make a New Email Account That Doesn’t Use Your Name

Make a new email address in a format that doesn’t identify you by name. And also preferably one that doesn’t reflect your current mental state or circumstances. Stay away from email addresses such as: life_after_hell, or leavingthedirtbag@ whatever email. You’ll tire of these as you pull further from the muck and they’ll add to dragging you down.

You get the idea. The thing is you’ll grow out of account names that reflect this journey, and very quickly. Use the new email to set up social media accounts like Facebook if you’re using it, Instagram, Twitter… whatever your social media thing is. Make a fresh new email and online identity. Chose something glorious.

Secure Your Identity: Online and In-Person Shopping

I’ve found absolute security and respect with are PayPal and AMAZON and ETSY I use them freely. My actual cell number is attached to all those accounts.

This is where you might want to use a credit card… Did you know that credit card purchases are protected when a retail sale goes wrong, or a product or service isn’t what you expect? This is the case even whether you buy the item or service online or in person.

If the vendor or retailer won’t refund your money for whatever reason, you can call the credit card company and ask for a “chargeback.” They’ll ask you a few questions, you let them know the retailer won’t refund you… The CC company will. Credit card companies are always on the side of the consumer.

Debit Card Safety

After they go, get a new one with a fresh new PIN. You can continue to change your PIN every three to six months. Definitely change the PIN after the sociopath aka narcissist is gone, even if you don’t get a whole new card.

Credit Cards and the Credit Game

Who hasn’t heard the wise old adage, don’t buy what you can’t afford? The keyword there is “old”… Because, paradoxically, to participate in the world as it is today, based on credit scores, we need to use our credit cards.

It’s important to use this credit-based world to our advantage. Did you know that it raises our credit score to use a credit card for recurring monthly subscriptions or other deliberate small purchases, and pay that amount each month? You’re not charged interest, but you might have a card with points that build up as your credit score rises.

Making payments on time and at an amount higher than the minimum payment is key. If your payment is more than 30 days late, your account will be reported to the credit bureaus. It’s unfortunately considered a “missed payment” and that ding can stay there on your credit report as a bad reputation for up to seven years. Minimize a late payment drooping your score by making on-time payments from then on.

Raise Your Credit Score Even Further

Another way to work it is to ask to have a higher credit limit. As long as you don’t spend more, this raised limit will cause your credit score to go up. This margin between your credit limit and the average balance on your card is called the “utilization”. Keeping your utilization at about 7% to 10% of your credit limit keeps your credit score higher.

Did you know you can ask for lower interest once every six months? Call and ask the Credit card company’s customer service line and request that they lower your rate. They’ll say, let me look that up and see what’s available. If they can, they lower it. It all depends on their business circumstances and cycles and our standing.

Free Credit Report

Get our free credit report and FICO scores here. Click here. This is the official site. It’s FREE to get our credit report! Don’t pay anyone for it. We can get our report once per year – free – from containing our credit information from all three credit reporting agencies, Experian, Transunion, and Equifax.

Social Security Number

Be sure not to punch your social security number into your cell while calling your auto insurance, healthcare or any agency. Use your member ID number instead or wait for a human in the office you’re calling to get on the line.

It’s a good idea to put an alert on your Social Security number for fraud. Go here, through this link to the Official US Government Social Security site.

Go on and live again! Create your privacy, and be able to participate like a real human in the digital world at the same time. We are awesome. We’re our own Angels. We are Super Heroes!

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

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As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.