Sociopaths Sex Lives: A Hotbed of Lies

Sociopaths’ sex lives are rumored as “great”.
In real life, they’re a hotbed of lies and cognitive dissonance.

Sociopaths’ sex lives are integral to their game. In other words, sex is a major tool in the sociopath’s kit. Not to mention what a tool every sociopath is if you’ll pardon the pun… Sociopaths sex lives are robust, filled with many, many, just a whole-lotta people that they’re preying upon, and all at the same time.

Sex With a Sociopath Stuns Prey

Unless we’re in this kind of nightmare entrapment, or have gotten out of it, understanding the sociopath’s gut-grabbing effect and uncanny level of influence isn’t possible. Sex, in whatever shape it takes, is used by the sociopath – and that person you’re calling a narcissist, for hooking prey, keeping prey, and for the sociopath’s sex-high and personal entertainment.

The Sexual Pull of a Sociopath: The Sociopath Effect

Sociopaths have undue influence and a kind of magnetic pull; think of it as the sociopath effect. It’s invisible, and it oozes out of them without them trying, just as their lungs draw air in and out without any awareness or effort on their part.

The sociopath effect envelopes any and all around them, but absolutely consumes those who admire them or think the sociopath is “cute”. The effect is that it leads us to do things we’d never otherwise do.

They don’t look gross and freaky and scary when we meet them if we like them. Under the injection of coercive control, they look amazing.

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People Ensnared Are Not Stupid

This invisible, heinous “gas” hits us in the gut, and voila, the sociopath effect. This element of coercive control comes along with a sociopath like the mold in blue cheese, like flames in a forest fire, like the wet in water… It seeps into our souls, and bones.

This is how we ended up here. Not because we’re stupid – which is what you hear from others who haven’t had this hideous experience. Other people can’t know unless they’ve been in it. There’s nothing like it.

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Sociopaths Draw People in with Sex Wherever They Are

And unfortunately, sociopaths exist in every gender, social class, or economic class. You can find them in any religion, at a University, in any bar, in the laundromat, and at a wine tasting – they can and are anywhere and in every walk of life.

None of them are more skilled or more “high functioning” in reality than another, though this is also a mistaken interpretation of the sociopath that you might come across. Any and every sociopath in any walk of life is dumber than a box of rocks. You, my gorgeous human, you are the smart one. Emotional intelligence and heart win over a carcass devoid of humanity.

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Any Gender of Sociopath is Identical to the Other

And just for the record, this covers male or female sociopaths. They’re alike and identical… Except in one aspect.

This one varied aspect is due to female biology, not at all due to having any pieces of a semblance of a heart. Female sociopaths only have kids if they can use them as lunch money. Male sociopaths can’t seem to stop procreating and leaving children all over the globe like so many crumpled candy wrappers. – For now, let’s talk turkey about the inside secrets of sociopaths’ sex lives. The real deal behind closed doors. Or… the… uhm, real fake deal.

The Paradoxical Reality of Sociopaths’ Sex Lives

Are fake
The sociopath feels nothing emotionally
Sex for a sociopath or what you might be calling a narc or narcissist is an animalistic compulsion
Sex with a sociopath is a highly effective tool to make us “stay”
Sex for a sociopath is all in a day’s work, frequently it’s several times a day
Sociopaths are pan or omnisexual, any prey will suffice… even if you call them narcs
They avoid real intimacy during sex, we try hard to create it
Sex with a sociopath is mind-blowingly awesome, until it isn’t
It’s cold and non-connecting which makes us yearn for connection
It becomes rare and near non-existent
Sex with a sociopath can be sexual abuse, assault or rape
Since they aren’t who they present themselves to be its rape by deception, yes, that’s a thing

Sociopaths’ Sex Lives: Nothing is Real

Here’s how these factors play out, one by one

Points 1, 2 and 3: It goes without saying, or needs to be said repeatedly at every opportunity. Everything about a sociopath is fake. Their lives are lies. and they feel nothing except ceaseless want, and anger… anger at losing their gains, and scams, and prey.

Sociopaths despise us. This is not because they want to be like us! They find us ridiculous for caring. The thing is, they have a different brain.

This different brain propels pathological users into a life that we consider loveless emptiness. Don’t pity them. They don’t need our pity. They absolutely adore being what they are.

Points 4 and 5: Sociopaths use sex to snag and hold onto their prey. Sociopaths use the fact that sex means something big in order to build our attachment to them. We think it’s love. Love is all about the chemistry of sexual attraction. There is scientific evidence demonstrating women attach to men after making love with biochemical changes.

However hip and with it, and however understanding and accepting we think we are – or need to seem that we are – on the concept of “friends with benefits”, it really isn’t successful. It’s a bunch of malarkey invented by men who wanna get it, ladies.

No matter how much any of us feel we’ve adapted to casual or free-wheeling sex, sit on back, and really feel yourself. This notion is used by many a sociopath and is kicked by them gleefully, like a kid in a candy story, into polyamory and open relationships and even BDSM, in order to sugar coat their theft of your life with false care.

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Sex is a Sociopath’s Tool

For us normal humans under their spell, sex equals intimacy, equals love equals us giving him the shirts off our backs. The sociopath knows this. The sociopath uses sex to keep us. All of us.

He or she has a whole gaggle of targets and prey at any given moment and must service and bind any number of women or men any given day. For a sociopath sex equals conquest equals the bonus of the sexual chemical rush. Sex is a high.

Point 6: It doesn’t matter if we’re a girl or a boy. Sociopaths don’t want us to know this, but it follows since people represent absolutely nothing to sociopaths beyond usefulness in fulfilling their greed and need. This is because sociopaths feel no positive bonding emotions. At all, ever. They can’t. Pretty simple.

Sex and Eye Contact and Sociopaths Don’t Go Together

Point 7: There are common threads of behavior during sex with a sociopath. They typically don’t make eye contact. Additionally, in the afterglow many sociopaths want to take up room in the bed, they spread out to keep distance between us. That’s the best version of how they see it… the same for the narcissist.

Sociopaths find reasons to leave the bed we’re in and sleep elsewhere or sleep at a different time of day. Some of them are fond of appearing around the house after showering or bathing in the nude; they’ll walk around happily naked. In contrast, in bed, they wear pajamas, or sweats, or something to lock it all up. But at first… see Point 8, below.

Sex with a Narcissistic Predator is Rumored to be Amazing

Point 8: Sex with a sociopath is mind-blowingly awesome. Sex with a sociopath seems like lovemaking at its finest. It feels we’ve finally met a man – or woman – who knows what making love is all about. This is all a part of that sociopath effect. In truth, we’re being invaded by a demon.

Point 9: Sex with a sociopath is cold. Yep. Yes-siree Bob. After a time the sociopath gets tired of the chore of sex with us. It’s a task, it’s a part of their job. They’re not in love; they don’t like us. How excited would any of us be to make love with someone we despise? We’d be so incredibly upset.

A sociopath, rather than feeling “upset” at sex with someone they don’t like or love and aren’t attracted to, they instead feel bored, disgusted, nothing, hatred, and a mix of this. Sex with prey is their job. Winding and binding people up via sex is using a tool from their workshed; it’s simply how it’s done. All in a day’s or a night’s work.

That emanating coldness rises from the bottomless hollow within them where caring and real love are meant to be. Sociopaths don’t want to connect with anything but your wallet or your citizenship or your property or use you to access others – or all this and more.

Sex and the Sociopath Becomes a Thing of the Past

Point 10: Sex with sociopaths becomes rare. Well, sure, see points 1 through 9.

My experience with the sad fact, and yet the hidden blessing of point ten was heartbreaking. At the phase when sex became rare between my faker and me, and he resisted physical intimacy in our fauxlationship, I opened my laptop and googled like crazy.

I used the search phrase: my husband won’t have sex with me. I got results. They were all about a nice-and-convenient (for him) condition called, sexual anorexia, or intimacy anorexia.

So, being a normal human as I am, and wanting to make my relationship work as we all would, I thought I’d discovered that my husband was a sexual anorexic. He fit every criterion. Though deeply saddened, true to my natural, normal human, loyal character, I was ready to take on the challenge of healing him, he and I together.

This gave him the three extra months he used to ruin my financial status and steal from me behind my back. The moral, follow your gut ASAP. Don’t let anything sway you from acting decisively on that feeling that something is deeply wrong.

You already know that in real circumstances we cannot fix someone else. Take care of yourself. Sociopaths’ sex lives are not related to even casual sex, they are destruction and ruin for any normal person engaging sexually with them.

Abuse, Force, and Nothing At All to Do With Love

Point 11: Sex with a sociopath can seem like sexual abuse. Well, yes, and both directly and indirectly. Sex usually starts out great. Over the moon. Yadda-yadda. Then it can become sporadic, or weird.

Sociopaths who are pathological takers and users with a built in stun-gun by nature have different styles of initiating sexual union. Soft, sideways, animalistic, or aggressive, or mimicking sweet-love or mutual passion. Sometimes it’s cold, with positions, and rituals that leave us feeling like a piece of meat, and anything but two connecting hearts.

Point 12: Nothing about pathological users has anything to do with normal. They’re not in bed for the reason that we are or for anything close to our reason for being there. They’re not the person they say they are. Rape by deception is a legal charge in some states. I’ve had clients who live in states where their District Attorney brought this charge against the sociopath. – And yes, the sociopath lost, and the no-longer-prey won the court case.

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Sociopaths Use Sex to Hold Onto Prey

Sociopaths are completely disconnected during sex other than establishing control over us or going for a high. – Remember they have no emotions so sex is a bodily chemical high. Excuses given for avoiding sexual intimacy are childhood trauma, PTSD, or they need their energy for other things.

It’s just a plain reality that they aren’t in love. The sociopath (or that thing you’re calling a narcissist) sees sex as a chore, and as a means to keep us hooked. If they can keep their grip on us another way, by yelling at us, or hitting us, or ignoring us, they do. The ultimate, and really the only goal of the pathological user is to get us to stay put and to shut up. They do whatever it takes, and whatever works to reach this goal.

Don’t Feel Sorry for a Sociopath: They Love Being What They Are

Consider this, we could go on and on for hours of philosophical discussions about whether or not we should have compassion for the sociopath. About whether or not sociopaths are human or monster. Wondering, did he mean to ruin me?! Do they have a soul? Can they change? Do they have a Buddha-nature? Is there redemption for them?

Following this train of consideration could feed into you staying longer. Even for those of us who’ve had that irrevocable moment when the spell snaps there’s a massive debate in our heads… It’s called cognitive dissonance. It’s a battle of thoughts when two beliefs or ideas about the same topic or situation conflict.

Doubt, Self-Doubt, Second Guessing Come with the Territory

The opposing ideas and doubts, and flipping about in our minds, that clash or what they say and what we feel and then what we feel a few seconds later and then what we think we think next… is creating dissonance rather than harmony of mind. We feel uneasy or super confused depending on the importance of the idea, value, or moment in question. It can make us feel crazy.

We can’t afford to be clouded and confused by this conversation going on in our heads if we’re set on escaping. We must learn to sort it out and recognize what’s really what, truth and gut instinct from the sociopath effect garbage in order to get out, and to recover. This confusion expands once we leave, it’s what the clinicians call PTSD. It isn’t permanent, we’re not broken, it isn’t a “disorder” like now we’re nuts… it’s okay, and there is a way to sort it like no other.

We’re Normal and Gorgeous

Cognitive dissonance occurs constantly when we’re with a sociopath. We unknowingly support their lies and give them the benefit of the doubt. We fill in their story. This is normal.

Normal people, normally and naturally, fill in the empty air between what someone tells us and what we conclude all the time. This is normal. When we’re painting in the story around a sociopath, it just so happens that it’s dangerous.

We draw from our own beliefs, dreams, and concepts we understand about life, from our life experience thus far when we meet a new person, sociopath or not. Then in this hideous, horrific nightmare we’ve wandered into without knowing, the sociopath’s tale makes sense and he or she shines with excellence in our hearts – because of our very own goodness.

Cognitive Dissonance: Confusion, Self-Doubt, is PTSD

Cognitive dissonance plays with us again after we see behind the mask – we question our glimpse of the truth. We doubt the truth. In a part of this naturally, we console ourselves saying, well… maybe he really isn’t that bad…. or, that night, when we gazed up at the moon in Paris… that night was magic, he really loves me…!

Sadly, it wasn’t magic, he doesn’t love anyone, and surprise, surprise… even though you feel you love or loved him or her… you didn’t, and you don’t. That’s for another moment of clearing the fog. You’ll get there if you keep going… and without a doubt if you give yourself the gift of one-on-one sessions with me. I say this with conviction, humility and amazement that I know how to do this. After all, like you, all I wanted was a husband.

Normal Craves Harmony and Peace

And most beautifully, it is our need to live in harmony rather than dissonance – cognitive or any other kind – that lets us finally see through the sandstorm of lies.

Our deep human need for harmony, our capacity to love, our empathy – when turned towards ourselves – activates our ability to see the truth in spite of the doubts. It awakens the healing. Our humanity sets us free.

We Are Awesome

For the sake of our safety and recovery from our whirlwind with a sociopath a discussion of their potential to manifest true humanity is a dangerous trail to go down.

Get strong. Take your stress vitamins. Take care, and come out the other side fuller, stronger, better and so much happier! We are our own Angels. We are Superheroes. We’re made of everything we need to survive and thrive.

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