Sociopaths Talk a Lot: They Can't Live Without It

They talk our ears off until we say, “yes”.
They yak and yammer and natter
like buzzing mosquitoes.
Their head-spinning gibber-jabber leaves us
too dizzy to notice the lies.

Sociopaths talk a lot. They talk to deflect questions, to tell stories, to paint a picture of how amazing they are, how down and out they are though it isn’t their fault. Sociopaths talk a lot. They yip and yammer and blab and blather. As nonsensical as most of it is, it all has a purpose, a two-fold singular focus and goal.

Talking is A Tool To Ensnare Amazing Humans

Talking – or messaging, texting, emailing, WhatsApping, and every other communication – is the lifeline for a sociopath’s survival.

Communication is the crux of human connection, but this is different. Normal people talk and communicate to connect in a positive way, to bond, and to build relationships.

Sociopaths on the other hand, talk to do two things: to make sure they’re safe in the sense that someone isn’t going to expose them and to make sure the way is open for them to use you.

Talking Has A Two-Fold Singular Purpose and Goal

For a sociopath (that goofball you might be calling a “narcissist”) hooking normal humans is their livelihood, their survival. They need to talk a lot in a short amount of time to draw someone in.

Some of them get people they’ve ensnared to do the talking for them, like a multi-level entrapment scheme, prey monitor, and maintain other prey.

So, sociopaths talk a lot. They are very, very social. They need people. People are their livelihood. Connecting to people is something we all do through ordinary conversations.

The hitch is, when that ordinary conversation involves a sociopath on the other side, we’re at risk of being ensnared. There is no mutual connection. We are not in a conversation, we’ve walked into a trap.

Healing is a factored-down, clear understanding of this dynamic.

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Without Talking They Couldn’t Snag Us or Survive

The ordinary everyday interaction and conversation wrap us up in their hateful world. Talk, talk, talk, and then later, the silent treatment when we try to have one of those “talks” about the relationship (that isn’t one).

We’re stunned into a stupor. Filled with paralyzing venom. We’re putty in their hands.

Jeez-Louise. Sociopaths know they’re sociopaths. They know they live and operate from thinking and beliefs that are outside of what is accepted in society. They need us to survive. This requires trust from prey towards them.

Pathological predators, sociopaths, psychopaths, narcs, narcopaths, narcissists: whatever you’re calling them, they know they can’t survive without hooking our trust.

They Need Us: We Don’t NEeed Them

Without normal people, sociopaths can’t get what they want, what they need, or survive. They know this. There are some famous sociopaths (aka narcissists) and psychopaths like Herr Hitler, NXIVM’s Keith Raniere, L. Ron Hubbard, Jim Jones, and Osha, also known as Rajneesh .

Though these seem outrageous examples, fundamentally these monsters are no different than the ones we called “boyfriend” or “hubby”. All of them share the same identical view of life and lack of conscience.

They have a different realm of life in politics, in guru roles, or as a regular guy. Their scopes of influence in the numbers of prey are different. Other than that, they are all alike. Each and every one of them talked a lot and no one was allowed to oppose them, such as in the case of Osha, and Scientology which is still active.

It Takes as Long as It Takes

This is an odyssey like what we went through with the dirtbags we’ve cut out of our lives. There are many more sociopaths who talk a lot throughout history: Rasputin was an antisocial psychopath, and Henry the VIII is thought to be one.

We continue as if they are normal, we get busy trying to build the business, the project and the life we have dreamt of and talked about as a life together.

He didn’t need to lie about who he was, but he declared full and complete dominion overall and used women relentlessly. Who knows… I wasn’t there, but I sure can recognize them here and now.

Their Blathering Constant Contact is How They Hook Us

Sociopaths talk a lot because they’re very, very busy weaving magical fantastical stories about themselves and how fabulous they are and how amazing their lives are – with the serious and critical goal of sucking us in.

When we’re introduced to them by a friend or they spot us across a room, in a crowd, or online they want to win our trust so they can steal our lives while we’re mesmerized by their fabulousness so, sociopaths talk – a lot – before we figure out it’s all a bunch of hooey.

They Need to Find Dinner

They look for the perfect target, meaning someone who has the strength, persistence, and other incredibly positive characteristics to siphon off of to sustain themselves. They most adore to ensnare independent, loving people who are risk takers and have the courage of their convictions are trusted, and respectable.

If we aren’t interested in them and reject their advances the sociopath quickly moves ahead to being angry with us. They make statements ranging from anger that we didn’t answer them to remarks about how stupid we are, to telling us they think we’re their soulmates all in one rampage.

Meaningless Jibber-Jabber Has a Life and Death Motivation

All of this is meaningless as far as the actual literal words. The emotion of anger and rage they express is quite real. They are super pissed – and their rage is fueled by their desperation to hook prey and the colossal fear of not hooking prey. – They need us.

If they can’t get us to listen, respond, agree… They don’t get dinner or access to the cookie jar. So, sociopaths talk a lot; and engage in immediate and constant contact until they infiltrate fully.

Without this talking and persistent effort, they couldn’t ensnare anyone into their orbit. If we aren’t sucked into their vortex, they can’t use us and they can’t fulfill what they are as a living entity: a predator, a parasite.

The Immediate Constant Contact is the Trap

After meeting us they text, call, and message us sometimes many, many times a day or night – sometimes all night – whenever they’re not with us. Their contact is always of an amount that’s got too “too much”, too much eagerness, and an oblivious soldiering-on, obtuseness.

They talkity-talk, offer wine, partying, trips, money, charm. Very, very quickly, it’s a kind of a whirlwind.

They’re focused on barging into our lives. Their connecting tactics show no connection to normal social contact. – That’s the “outside of social norms” part – their antisocial psychopath brain is being revealed. This frequent, persistent contact is called “love-bombing” – love’s got nothing to do with it… it’s bait.

Sociopaths are desperate to connect, that connection is literally their survival. Somehow this desperation, this bone-deep need they have has a very powerful and gut-level, primal influence on us.

It feels like they make us feel better than anyone ever has, and we find ourselves equally desperate to be in their orbit. Sociopaths talk a lot. If they didn’t, they couldn’t ensnare anyone into their orbit. If we aren’t sucked into their vortex, they can’t use us.

There’s a Lot of “We”, “Us” and “Future” Tossed In

Sociopaths talk about doing fun exciting things…. they want to make sure we want to be around them a lot – they want us to feel we need them. If they detect a simple walk on a deserted beach will hook us – that’s where they take us.

If they sense a nice dinner out at a 5-star restaurant will get them into our lives, they make that effort. When they pick up that we’re genuinely plenty happy with a hot dog, that’s what they offer.

Sociopaths, narcs, and users want to know what matters to us for leverage to get what they want so, they listen a little in the early weeks of the scam.

They’re generous with their time and their attention at first; their goal is to loosen us up with gifts, going places, promises, and even daring us to do things. They talk-talk-talk, offer wine, partying, trips, money, and charm. Very, very quickly, it’s a kind of whirlwind.

Whatever we want to call them: a narc, a narcissist, a narcopath, they are sociopaths if they’re doing this and they’re doing it to every single person seemingly a girlfriend, boyfriend, partner, or friend.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4nf8gnREsoc7HGdhQTibHv?si=YO0CressQP-I9h8arA2kyQ

Sociopaths Talk and Talk Spinning Us Dizzy

In brief pauses, in the beginning, they seem to listen to us deeply. Staring, examining. A kind of bottomless look in their eyes and a kind of searching our eyes “eye contact”. We think it’s because they’re interested in us.

They wanna share and talk and talk and ask us questions… Excited like a little waggy-puppy… They’re excited but, like a quivering, salivating jackal, drooling in hopes of being able to: take, use, and get away with it. Sociopaths want to know what matters to us for leverage to get what they want so they listen in the early days of the scam.

We Think We’re Lucky…

Their presence and driveling jibber-jabber create a hyper-intimacy in any kind of moment or setting. We almost can’t believe that we could be so lucky to have them. Sociopaths talk a lot about the great things they’ve done in their lives and for others.

Sociopaths talk about us being better than other women they have known. Things move quickly. – There’s a strong vibey “something” that holds us there. Sociopaths compliment us on behaviors they approve of. This is how they reinforce behaviors that’ll keep us in their orbit.

We’re stunned into a stupor. Filled with paralyzing venom. We’re putty in their hands. We continue as if they are normal, we get busy trying to build the business, the project, and the life we have dreamt of and talked about as a life together.

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Sociopaths All Talk with Identical Unparalleled Passion

They all say a number of people hate them or are jealous of them
They all describe people as evil, devil, haters, jealous
They all boast about not being a hater themselves
They all condemn others for a lack of gratitude
They all say someone ruined their last great project or business
They all judge others’ stupidity, lives, and possible homosexuality
They can conjurer and display sudden extreme emotions, including tears

How can I keep on saying “they all” do such and such…? They are the way they are due to the cookie-cutter specific brain abnormality that makes them be what they are, do what they do, and think as they do and lack the basic emotions of like, love, genuine care, or concern and therefore, be minus a conscience. There is nothing about them that we can recognize as human. – What they do is propelled by their basic foundational view of life rooted in their abnormal brain.

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All That Talk is a Smoke Screen

They all lie under all circumstances
They all think they’re great masters of manipulation; we might too… but in reality, they’re desperate rats who know a lever to push to get a cookie
Any accomplishment that might seem genuine was attained through lying
There are people who hate them… people just like you and me that they scammed
No one who sees through them is actually jealous of them

After talking a lot – and taking a lot, they begin to see that all their talking is letting us see through them more than hide what they are, and then they start to be mean. In truth, they hate us.

Sociopaths Talk a Lot: And it Isn’t Harmless or Nice

They accuse us of random, but strange and specific things
They begin to call us names or put us down
Or ignore us with silence
They talk more about a past “relationship” that was perfect. We fall short of that
There’s the emotional twisting of words to hold us in their grips
Physical or sexual intimacy declines or stops
Their behavior becomes more erratic
They show intense anger
We’re afraid of them
We’re afraid to leave them
We doubt ourselves
We’re sad, miserable, and confused

Feelings That We Need Them Overtakes Us

We feel like you can’t survive without them. This is also a lie and one they like to reinforce. It’s natural to feel this incredible pull toward them and their need for them. It’s not because we’re codependent, it’s because they’re sociopaths.

In the end, after all that talking we gain our freedom. Life slides into a whole new gear when they aren’t nattering at us anymore.

When we go no contact all the way it’s an awesome, miraculous relief; the beginning of the end to the madness and the only possible first step to ending it. They might have started all the talking but, we’re the ones who end it.

We’re the good and strong ones. That’s why they need us. Getting a deeper look into what was happening and why from the viewpoint of their needs starts to untangle the mess and pain.

Once they’ve stopped talking – because we’ve gone no contact, find the way to find the way back to you.

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

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As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.