Do narcissists know they're lying? Archives

Sociopaths know what they are.
The “narcissist” knows they’re a sociopath.
They get annoyed with attempts to “fix” them.
And they don’t want to be fixed even if they could be.

All of us have lots of questions when we’re coming out of this. The questions are rooted in the pain, and disbelief, and for some, it rises – steaming and often with embarrassment or shame – out of the aching yearning they still feel for this monster they escaped.

There are three primary questions I’m asked by clients in guided recovery sessions with me. 1) Do sociopaths know they’re sociopaths?

Along these same lines, I’m asked, Do sociopaths know they’re lying? And the third primary question is, Can they be fixed? These questions are a reflection and the product of what we are as normal gorgeous humans who are wired to give other’s the benefit of the doubt and believe in the goodness of others.

So, Do They Know…?

My answers to the three: 1) Do sociopaths know they’re sociopaths, 2) Do they know they’re lying and 3) Can they be fixed are: yes, yes, and no. And then I explain why this is so and hopefully, I’ll bring home the reality of the impossibility that they can be fixed. Here’s an unbelievable tidbit: they wouldn’t want to be fixed if they could. The fact is, they adore being what they are and all that this means.

Please, even if you’re calling them a “narcissist”… Please open up your mind to the notion that there’s something more than a wounded human here. The word “narcissist” as a term for these creatures drags with it a pile of misconceptions about what you’re likely facing if this website is where you landed. I’d go so far as to suggest you finally found the real answers. Please shed the terms and ideas of a “narcissist” and step into the reality that sociopaths exist and they know what they are: we need to as well.

Do Sociopaths Know They’re Sociopaths?

The short answer is “yes”. They know what they are. They might not all use or know the word “sociopath”, but yes. Even as children they know they’re “different”, and “not like other people”.

In the words of a socioapth: I was no stranger to manipulating situations and people in order to get what I wanted, and strangely enough, all these extremely educated adults were extremely easy to manipulate circles around.

In my experience resolving the pain of entanglements for people all over the globe, I see it proven over and over and over again that they indeed know what they are and are this from youngest childhood.

I’ve had mothers write to me who have seen the strangeness of a baby who can’t connect in freshest infancy, and in toddlers with cruel behavior. I’ve had siblings of these alternate-children tell me of the fear at night that this brother or sister would creep into their room and kill them.

They do know what they are. And they simply are what they are. While you or I are thrown into a surreal nightmare under the spell of a sociopath and suffer profound trauma at the hands of a sociopath, the very same interaction is mundane to them. It’s even boring for a sociopath. They feel no trauma or harm or upset during the hijackings… The trauma for them is when we break away.

And for those wondering, why the heck is she saying they know this in childhood…? Because scientific research points to sociopaths being what they are due to very specific parts of the brain that don’t function from birth and as a result of what we would call abnormal microgenetic coding. It’s in their genes. There is no research I’ve found saying this is hereditary, but it’s in the genes of that embryo as it forms.

Sociopaths Are All They Can Be

At the same time, the sociopath feels a sense of achievement in these hijackings, deceptions, and misleads. This is because the way they are wired to behave and to survive: is to make use of others rather than connecting or caring. – When they entrap you they’re living out their purpose.

The pathological taker-user has pride in a job well done when they capture prey. They find not only money and places to stay and more, but also find pleasure and entertainment in scamming people. They’re in need of food to eat, and money in their grimy hands, this is so even for those dirtbags who also bring in some kind of paycheck.

A Pathological “Narcissist” is a Sociopath: There is Only One Monster

To get to the root of your situation, if you’re calling him or her a “narcissist”, consider throwing that idea away. The problem is found in the commonly attached beliefs about what a “narcissist” is.

Please keep looking, turning the kaleidoscope for the view that snaps missing puzzle pieces into place so that you can see them clearly and separately from your own great goodness.

If you believe that they’re jealous of us, want to be us, have a narcissistic wound, or have no self-love, toss that out before it takes you further from realizing what you really faced, and what you can truly do to recover and get them out of your bones.

I know this sounds scary to think they’re a sociopath, but I guarantee, it makes things easier, and clearer and allows for restoration of your life.

What is recovery for you?
What is winning in this nightmare?

Breaking Up With Evil

Breaking Up with Evil: Escaping Coercive Control on Amazon

Five women’s true stories of being ensnared hauled through the confusion, lies, fear, and pain, and breaking away.

Told in their own words, they leave nothing unsaid. Find validation and see new glimpses of the truth as they share their stories… Stories that could be any of ours.

Recovery coaching unique to you

Therapy is School for a Pathological Narcissist aka Sociopath

For the sociopath, therapy is at best an education in what matters to us and teaches them little tricks. They discover buttons to use us more. Agreeing to go to therapy makes them look normal and look good, or at least vulnerable and willing to get “help” which amounts to normal and good to nice, real people… and that is required in the sociopath’s way of life.

Going to counseling or therapy gets the sociopath (the pathologically narcissistic which some refer to as a narcissist) some pats on the head, dinners, and ice cream. They don’t want to be fixed. A sociopath doesn’t feel that there’s anything about them that needs fixing. They don’t think that the things they do are wrong. Not one bit of it.

Narcissistic Abuse Unwound: The Podcast

A Real-Life 30-Something Sociopath Tells their Story

Let’s see what a real-life 30-something sociopath has to say about therapy and “fixing” them with this pithy snip of reality in their own words complaining about being sent to therapy throughout their lives:

I’ve been through several therapists and in several psychiatric wards multiple times. In my youth one of my therapists would take me out for ice cream if I was good, so I “confessed” issues I was having and he took me to get double chocolate chip, but apparently he fell asleep on me once and so my parents didn’t let me see him anymore.

Then the second one I had seen twice, and I didn’t like how she always sided with my parents and I always got blamed for everything, so I told my parents I didn’t want to see her anymore.

The third one was a really nice guy, but was too nice and optimistic, and not very much of a realist. I genuinely liked the guy. But as a therapist he fed me too much happy bullshit. I ended up asking him more about his life and career. Talking about subjects that were irrelevant, and manipulating him to help me with my homework in his computer because we didn’t have one at home until I got into community college.

The fourth one I saw while I was homeless. I actually didn’t originally want to see, but she was very useful for things other than therapy, and she was extremely nice, so I consistently saw her. When I started seeing her in the transitional home I was in she was less attentive. And was on her phone most of the time. I had less use for her as time progressed, so I stopped seeing her. I completely forgot about her until just now.

Therapy never got me to address any issues, for me, it was always about blowing off steam, and then maybe my parents taking me out to eat afterward, my parents never actually gave a shit about working on anything, so I didn’t either.

Medications didn’t work either. It seemed like they would for one or two weeks then I’d stop feeling their effects all together, like I was actually controlling myself, but the medications made my thoughts hazy and made me moody and irritable. I’m actually much worse on meds than off.

In psychiatric wards, by the time I was 13 years old, I’d been to three psychiatric wards, two of them multiple times, so I had been to them enough to know the system and subconsciously that allowed me to be released because I hated it there. They were all about control and just suppressing your issues, not actually getting you to change for the better. And there was tons of violence and bullshit in there as well, and they were so filthy.

So, I just acted normal and complied to get what I wanted while in there, then I would get released in like a week or two every time. It was just going through the motions, as they say. I was always an exceptionally intelligent kid, and since I was constantly in these situations, I was no stranger to manipulating situations and people in order to get what I wanted, and strangely enough, all these extremely educated adults were extremely easy to manipulate circles around.

So in summation, the answer to your question is, yes, we don’t like having to devote our free time to therapy. It’s all purely a damn waste of our time and we don’t want to be there, so we will act normal to get out. ~ E.B., Self-Proclaimed Sociopath and Diagnosed Personality Disorder

Sociopaths Learn Tricks Like Lab Rats Learning Which Lever Gets the Cheese

Please notice the Subject above refers to the following situations that are indicative and an aspect of all sociopaths: “one of my therapists would take me out for ice cream when I was good so I “confessed” to issues I was having”, making up things he thinks the therapist wants to hear. And casually as if it’s unimportant: “when I was homeless”. And conscious deliberately “manipulated him to help me with my homework” and “…in order to get what I wanted…all these extremely educated adults were extremely easy to manipulate circles around”. These reflect the traits I mention frequently. That sociopaths don’t mind where they live, they don’t do their own work at school or on a job, and that they learn to use “buzz words” they pick up from us to sound “real” or normal. And that anyone can be drawn in by them, not understand what they are or not recognize them: even by those considered experts in the psych professions.

We’re Humans: The Sociopath Is Without Humanity

These abnormal-brained and therefore, pathological users aka pathological predators – sociopaths – know they think differently. This is not because they have any mental disability. – The sociopath – that life-stealing “narcissist” has a biologically different body and brain.

The “malignant narcissist”, the “overt” and the “covert”, and all the endlessly misleading NPD categories, are meant for clinical observations and medical prescriptions and prison sentencings rather than for your recovery… These entities function as sociopaths. Someone you think of as “having NPD” is a sociopath.

We’re much better off when we get to this reality and don’t expect them to be something they aren’t. They aren’t wounded souls. They don’t suffer from childhood abuse no matter the stories they tell you. If they were abused it didn’t make them what they are.

They Aren’t Who We Thought They Were

Here’s the surreal but freeing good news: there was no one who loved us and then treated us badly. There was a pathological parasitic predator who stunned us under their spell, invaded and used our lives in a deliberate, intentional fraud.

They truly live in a different universe than ours, while standing right next to us. They need you to not know what they are so that they can live and thrive.

Please, don’t give them that. Please keep looking, turning the kaleidoscope for the view that snaps missing puzzle pieces into place so that you can see them clearly and separately from your own great goodness.

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

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The Podcast: Narcissistic Abuse Unwound

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As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.