how to get better after a narcissist break up. Archives

Fearless and free is the opposite
of where we land after a sociopath.
Long after the loser is gone we
might have a lingering fear.
This is the opposite of what we want to be,
which is: happy as a lark!

Fearless and free is a place we make our way to… Are we still shaking and quaking long after they exit? Our freedom is really, really in our hands. Become fearless and free. And start singing our favorite tune!

There are two reasons why we might still be fearful: one maybe we still know too much about what the nutter is up to at this point in time – the other is not having a handle on what a sociopath really is and what that means – which causes the first.

We can restore our beautiful selves, with a renewed awareness of how amazing we are, new knowledge about life itself and the freedom to be fearless in love.

Get ready for some lightbulb moments.
And… the ending you want.

Get real answers, unwind the nightmare

Fearless and Free Begins with No Contact

If we know what he or she is doing, where he is, or who his current main-scam is we know too much. If we know what they’re telling others about us this very week or month… we know way too much – Essentially we’re still in contact. And this means we are not yet fearless or free.

They know when we’ve truly cut them off, and they know when we haven’t. They feel it. Cut them loose completely. In case this has gone unnoticed, we’re the ones who end it, they do not. Only “no contact” stops them and sets us free.

After the masquerade is over, we’re “broken up”, separated, divorced – when the initial shock of ptsd is long past, but we have lingering fear we want to ask ourselves – why?

Though we may not be calling him or texting – if somehow we’re aware of his status and actions – sorry to say but – this constitutes “contact.” We can’t heal or recover while still in contact. This is a roadblock to healing.

For super-duper clarity, read here, What is No Contact? Here’s one tidbit: we’re checking his Facebook page… We’re still in contact, but for a brief period in the aftermath that canned normal for us to do.

How Do We Know What the Nut Job Sociopath is Up To?

Let’s be for real’s here, examining the source of the things we know about his or her doings. Is this info we come across on social media or wherever it might be directly from them… Posted by them? His Facebook? Her Instagram? — If we wanna get better, there comes the day we gotta get a hold of ourselves and get off their social media.

Their Co Called Friends Are Not Our Friends

We also can ask, ourselves, is the source of info about him or her coming from someone we still contact who has contact with him or her?! YIKES. Please consider this… Why are we still in touch with his “friends”?

Even if they were our friends first – sad to say but their trauma and entanglement with the predator means we’re at risk and wide open to the sociopath if we stay in touch with them.

Fearless and Free Includes Closing Every Opening to Them

Sad to say but we really must block them. Remove ourselves from the sociopath’s reach including portholes and windows and doors ajar through our friends who are now ensnared by them, and certainly from all “friends” the pathological user introduced us to. And finally, wherever it’s originating where ever we’re getting the news of his whereabouts – end it.

No Contact is about Freedom and Safety

Block whatever that source is in all our devices, on FB and everywhere. Get a new phone number, block his or her number and the phone number of anyone connected to them.

Sociopaths, and those pathological users some call a narcissist always have to move on, as in leave and change locations, change areas of town and maybe countries. Every scam and love fraud they undertake eventually blows up. Cutting our connection to them weakens their connection to us.

Breaking Up With Evil, Book 1, Caryn: Flat Our Wrong

We’re Our Own Angels

We make the ending of this story… Healing and overcoming lingering fear after a sociopath is very much in our own hands. Find a perspective on the madness that lands things on the right side of “good”.

It’s critical that we begin to take in what a sociopath really is. We can’t allow sentimentality, romanticizing, or misplaced forgiveness to keep us bound to their harm.

Stand up. Take our lives back. Renew. Become whole and better than before. Give this to ourselves. – No one else can. And – we can. We truly are our own saving grace. Decide our lives are valuable enough. Claim them. Be fearless and free.

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

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As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.