my marriage is ruined by my affair Archives

Sociopaths target married people.
Someone else’s husband or wife is a big part of their
unending collection of varied prey.
No one and nothing is out of bounds.

Sociopaths target married people even while they’re married themselves. Predatory-sociopaths (those creatures you might be calling a “narcissist” of some type) assess anyone and everyone they come across for that person’s “assets”.

Anyone and everyone are looked at as an object, a natural resource, judged for potential “usefulness” to them.

Every one of us is potentially useful. But: married people offer some extra fun and security to the hunting predatory sociopath who wants above all else for their prey (girlfriends, wives, husbands, boyfriends, fiances, friends, coworkers, neighbors, parent, sibling, cousin, uncle, aunt…) to shut up, keep quiet and leave the cookie jar open.

3 Reasons Sociopaths Target Married People

Being Married Means You Have a Lot to Lose. Sociopaths Are Lazy Predators.

Quite simply, they target married people: because they’re predators with the abnormal brain of an antisocial psychopath. They can’t *not* be what they are. There’s no off-switch.

Married prey has more to lose if the “affair” becomes known. That means you-know-who, the revolting predator has to do less to keep married targets quiet, and so obtain that ultimate goal of getting us to zip-it while they do whatever they want.

Without that thing that’s like a brainwashing effect, they’d be without prey; single, married or otherwise.

If we’re married the nutjob’s vindictive nature is a super-threat. The sociopath has more potential “fun” with a married target. Things like being able to blackmail their target if the targeted prey decides to squawk about the “affair”, loom large in this scenario.

The married person is inherently more vulnerable so easier to keep quiet so that the pathological predator can get away with what they do. And guess what: this is the only way they can “interact”. They can’t *not* do this.

Recovered and restored is possible.

Answers beyond teh usual all the way to resolved

Nasty Narcissists and Sociopaths Are Proud of Their Accomplishments

Married prey suffer secretly and silently from PTSD, confusion, and misplaced shame. There are support and healing.

Sociopaths see scooping up a married person as a testament to “how good they are”. They think they’re amazing! You can see them vibrate with delight as they rub their little paws together in braggadocious and self-gloating delight because they got a normal human, right out of the gate to do something normal people feel is wrong.

True Story: I took a Lyft ride the other day with a male driver who started talking about his life. His daughter, his former work, and a current divorce. His wife had had an affair with their daughter’s gymnastics coach. The coach had a buncha other women and was “cheating” with the Lyft driver’s wife and married himself. I asked a few questions. Answers: The Lyft driver’s wife had a nervous breakdown, became skin and bones, and cries all day. – I gave him my card and the website and told him I could help his wife, help for the sake of his daughter who now “hates” her mom. Help him understand what happened as he told me, “I loved her so much.” – “Yah, yah,” nodding in agreement as I said – “She didn’t have an affair – she was seduced and hijacked by a sociopath; this was a crime, she’s in trauma.” His final thoughts before the end of the ride, “I’ll give her your website as the last nice thing I do for her.” Marriage over. – The hardest about that ride was that I knew he didn’t understand what I was saying. How could he…?

Have a listen: Narcissistic Abuse Unwound

“Narcissistic Abuse Unwound” is on Spotify, Pandora, Audible, AmazonMusic, iHeartRadio, Google Podcasts, PodChaser, and more!

Our Emotions Are Not their Concern

Pathological Humans of Coercive Control aka Sociopaths Just Don’t Care

We are awesome! Sociopaths are not awesome, they’re specifically limited mentally, have no emotional intelligence, depend in a complete and total way on the lives of others.

These beasts don’t relate with empathy or compassion to the risk a married person they’ve hijacked has been sucked into – no. We think we’re in an affair – we aren’t aware it’s a hijacking, a crime, and that the predator-narc knows how important it is to us to keep an affair in the realm of secrecy.

They use this to hold on and take and ruin more. As with all our human concerns, our dreams, any emotions, and human needs, or foibles, the sociopath uses those things that matter to us to ensnare a target more deeply, for longer; to attain their goals to get more, to take more, to keep it, to and not be caught or exposed.

Breaking Up With Evil

Breaking Up with Evil: Escaping Coercive Control on Amazon

Five women’s true stories of being ensnared hauled through the confusion, lies, fear, and pain, and breaking away.

Told in their own words, they leave nothing unsaid. Find validation and see new glimpses of the truth as they share their stories… Stories that could be any of ours.

Recovery coaching unique to you

Married Or Not

Married or not married…. at the end of the day, what they’re up to is for the same end: to make use of whomever it is they love-bomb, entice, or invite and ensnare. It’s all a scam of seduction and fraud. It’s misrepresentation, embezzlement, theft, assault, and of blank ___ and ___. – Fill in those blanks with anything painful and wrong.

And here’s a news flash: we don’t attract these beasts. They try this on with every human they encounter. There is nothing in particular about any human that draws them on. They look at all humans as prey.

Whatever you’re calling them: narc, narcissist, narcopath – or sociopath – they feel more certain a married subject won’t expose them – or leave. It’s a given the married person won’t want to say anything to anyone no matter how bad it gets inside the nightmare. Hijacked married people have a whole lot to lose, and faces much more judgement than the rest of us: they’ve got a spouse they most likely still love, maybe children, possibly grand kids, a home: their whole life as they know it. Their sense of identity, and who they are in this world will be running down the with the dirty bathwater.

Guided recovery coaching

These Are Not Affairs

Are these really affairs? It’s doubtful that most married people entangled by a sociopath would have gotten involved with a real person – it takes a lot of effort to go outside of marriage. – A lot of effort to start an affair. In this case, the sociopath comes to us.

It’s the pathological user who has no boundaries and heeds no boundaries. The powerful pull of a predatory narcissist aka sociopath is stronger than the normal humans’ effect on one another. Without that thing that’s like a brainwashing effect, they’d be without prey; single, married, or otherwise.

We’re Amazing and Awesome

We are awesome! Sociopaths are not awesome, they’re specifically limited mentally, have no emotional intelligence, and depend in a complete and total way on the lives of others. Sociopaths need trust from others.

These parasitic predators are utterly dependent upon the empathy they can temporarily draw from us. Without us, they cannot survive.

Our great internal goodness and wiring as loving, bonding, caring fully human- humans are bent to their advantage without our awareness, and without any particular skill beyond their own instinctive wiring, to their advantage: until it isn’t. Our great innate humanity far outshines their inflexible limited brains.

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

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Have a listen: Narcissistic Abuse Unwound

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