narcopathawareness Archives - true love scam recovery

Closure with a sociopath
isn’t something to hold our breath over.
So many of us crave closure; an apology.
An explanation. An end to the ending.

This is a guest post by a true love scam recovery reader. she decided to write the apology she wanted from him. She shares that letter here… Here’s what she wrote for herself, to free herself with her own apology — the one that will never come from a sociopath – and if it does – they’re lying.

By E.R.

The Imaginary Apology from the Lying Sociopath

From E.R. to us: This is the apology letter I wrote to him, right after my break down. I sent it to him, asking him to read it to me. He never did. Instead, I gave him another 6 months to hurt me. It’s hard to accept that I still have loving feelings for someone who only hurt me. I think I just need some time.

Dear E,

I’m so sorry for the pain I caused you. I did not think of the consequences to you from my actions and my choices.

I couldn’t lose your help, so I kept hiding secrets to keep you around. I’m sorry. I thought you’d never know certain things and that it would be enough for you to be happy. I’m sorry I pushed this too far.

I apologize for everything I did and still do to you…

I apologize for hiding that I had a FB account, the first lie you found out and forgave…

I apologize for:

Rejecting you many times as a friend on my FB after you found out
Hitting on Sandra in front of your eyes and for not admitting it
Asking you for money
Promising I would pay you back when I knew I would never do that
Forgetting your birthday
Switching off my phone without caring about you
Cheating on you with Pauline
Telling her exactly the same things I said to you
Making plans for the future with her while I was with you
Putting pressure on you to bring me to Europe – and then…
Canceling after you planned the trip so I could be with Brie
Cheating on you with Ava
Cheating on you with all the women I never told you about
Making you beg me for answers I should have begged you to listen to
For making you look like a fool with everyone who saw me with other girls
Not using condoms and giving you two diseases
Teasing you about your body shape
Promising you many times that I would change
What I did with Kate
Bringing her to your home
Contacting Rosanna and hiding it from you
Not giving you the attention and love you deserve
Wasting two years of your life waiting for love I do not feel and cannot give
Blaming you for my troubled life
Sucking up your savings
Not celebrating your birthday
Never buying you a present, flower to show appreciation for you
Searching for Ava again as soon as you left
Saying that I am single
Chatting and for texting with girls in an intimate way
I apologize for Marilyn
Letting you live my lie
Not being the man I told you I was
Leaving you behind with such pain in your heart
Contacting Pauline again yesterday
Manipulating you and playing with your vulnerability
Blaming your pain on you and telling you that you enjoy feeling like a victim
Moving on so fast and so easy
Telling you that I loved you
Making you fall in love in with me
Not being able to change for you
Not writing this letter myself

I apologize, Sheldon

Thank you E.R. for sharing the rough steps along the way of healing.

We End It: They Don’t

Sociopaths offer no closure. They are unable to love and have no feelings of remorse. An apology is something they will never make. They feel no regret, shame, or guilt. There’s only one thing they’re sorry for: that they didn’t get more from us. Closure is ours to find.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4nf8gnREsoc7HGdhQTibHv?si=pnj6AVvpSGW2UmUefMRmwA

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As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.