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Betrayal After True Love Scam: Where it Hurts

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Betrayal looms large
in what some call narcissistic abuse.
And a whole ton of it comes from people we turn to
for support in the aftermath.

The shocking truth is the place it really hurts is in the aftermath. And the real sense of betrayal comes from professionals who put themselves out there as those who “protect and serve”, for example. The fact is traditional, standard agencies, and individuals we turn to have no real idea of what this is at this point in human history.

Support from therapists, counselors, psychologists, doctors, law enforcement, social services and the like have no idea what people coming out of this malarkey are going through.

Though they’ve taken the time to label the surreal things done by the pathological predator within the horrific reality as: “narcissistic abuse”.

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There’s a Name…

And those same people have decided to call us as the prey of these predators: “narcissistic abuse victims”. And have decided that when we’re ensnared within the madness we’re in “narcissistic abuse syndrome.”

I’m not a fan of this terminology and conceptualization of this situation for many many really good reasons, but that’s a different article than this one.

Whether we like this terminology or not, some of us don’t find even this level of acknowledgment.

Where is the Real Betrayal in True Love Scam?

Most of the time in couples counseling the therapist sides with the sociopath completely missing the mark on who the “bad guy” is.

All too often in therapy and court-battle-hades during the aftermath, we’re not believed, penalized, labeled, have children taken away, lose rights, access, property, and our sense of self. We topple under the disbelief of another devastating trauma inside the nightmare. Recovery involves recovering from trauma inside of trauma.

The Truth About Betrayal In True Love Scam

We’re the grassroots movement bringing the truth of true love scam to light. Bringing forward what we truly suffer: confusion, shock, shame, guilt, loss, feeling broken; some of us go through a psychic break under the weight of this horrific crime.

The proverbial rug has been pulled out from under our lives and then we find there’s no one who understands; sometimes, no one who believes us.

Who’s really betraying the prey of the sociopath…? – The sociopath who doesn’t care, never did, never will and is straightforwardly being what they are antisocial psychopaths who go unrecognized and only bring destruction with their limited brain focused on self-survival, deluded by their notion of sefl-grandiosity, and an existence built of lies?

Or the people meant to protect and serve its citizenry? The people holding high degrees, given blanket respect and looked to for relief by those in pain?

Targeted Prey is What We Were: No Victim Mentality Needed

We’re not “Eeyores”… You know like Eeyore, from Winnie the Pooh. We have no “disorder.” Just as we’re not in denial. We’re not codependent. You’re each and all trying to take back the damage done, make right the wrongs, and keep your children and yourself in safety from a user and abuser… the actual criminal.

In my case: Fortunately I had family who accepted and understood the truth. An amazing attorney who understood the sociopath-brain and jumped on board. A judge who saw through the con man. But let me be clear: They all operated and worked based on hard-evidence I had researched, sleuthed, and compiled into legal document format: 367 pages that I sorted through and pulled from and reordered and presented to each authority as called for with my goals in mind. I knew exactly what I wanted in order to feel that I had won. My evidence supported every claim I made and pointed towards my goal naturally. It isn’t’ like the movies where your attorney discovers evidence, in real life, we find the evidence. However, even with my determination and persistence, there were many I had to convince such as police and many others in harrowing, gut-wrenching meetings and appointments over and over and over. Like being beat-up with a baseball bat. Trauma inside the trauma. – I did it. You can too.

The Truth of True Love Scam

We were targeted, pursued, sucked in, used for our loyalty, honesty, genuine compassion and good character – and yes… all while we were in love. We believe them, trust them, defend them; we e behave and acted as normal people in what we felt and believed initially and for long into it all that we were in a normal relationship.

This is normal. And so, we flow along trying to make a great life with them until there’s something that snaps… and we see then that something, something indefinable is very, very, terrifyingly wrong. This is normal.

Even at that moment, we still can’t know wtf is happening, but we certainly save ourselves as soon as possible. There’s nothing wrong with us. Targets of sociopaths suffer profoundly more because of the incredible lack of understanding by “experts” and “authorities.”

Police Can Be the Anything But Helpful

Calling the police and filing restraining orders can be the very thing that brings us down a very dark rabbit hole of fear and retaliation (the sociopath’s self-defense) rather than the protection it’s meant to be.

This can increase the compulsion of the pathological user, the con artist’s to plant stories and tales of woe and accusations that give them validity as the “sane” one and brand us the crazy, hysterical, nut jobs in the eyes of authorities.

This is how children can be lost to the lunatic who doesn’t love them. Think twice before taking court action or calling police; this is best only in situations where direct evidence that fulfills the legal parameters for the circumstances in our locality is very strong and in our favor.

Restoration of Our Lives Comes from Us

So what in the heck are we to do? In certain situations, the police are the best option. And knowing when to bring them in is our own call. For a view of our situation and what’s what, always look at our escape e through the eyes of a socioapth.

Approach everything we do with the appearance of giving them what they want, otherwise, the revenge they’re compelled to go for is a hell we can’t imagine.

Looking at the whole mess through the mind of the kind of maniac a sociopath is, is how we can determine which action is safest and most effective and break free; and get away safely to a place where we can grieve the loss of a life we thought was real, not the scammer.

Know how to view the scam accurately. This is how we break free. Seeing what was real, and going no contact are the beginning of how we truly heal. This is key. The sociopath is not doing what they do “just to — blank — … just to make us cry, ruin our birthday, or even just to get back at us. What they do is not about us.

Authorities Don’t Always Know Best

Psychologists, therapists, and mental health support people aren’t trained well in supporting or understanding coercive control of a sociopath/psychopath on their prey. They just don’t. they’re on the outside looking at and reading dusty research manuals and textbooks for terminology and diagnosis of you sitting in their chair.

At least at this point, the category of CPTSD has been removed from the DSM v5. There were too many misunderstandings of this because of the lack of personal experience and instead of putting people under a microscope and missing the whole picture.

We must keep insisting on the truth of the circumstances. These situations exist because deceivers who make use of others exist. When we understand this and the mind of sociopathy and what that means, we win.

Anyone who goes into the field of counseling, psychology and therapy or social work has great intentions at heart. The thing is there’s no text book written to talk about the reality of living this nightmare. – They’re playing “catch-up” to our real life experience.

The Real Deal About True Love Scam

In the meantime, let’s lead the way. Really, really understand what happened: a collision of two different beings: us – fully functioning human beings, and those with an under-functioning brain.

A brain that allows them only a limited, myopic and destructive view of life – and gives them the innate ability to entrance any person who finds them charming, even the most hardened cynic. – Anyone can be conned into true love scam.

Our great goodness is what a sociopath needs to survive. Our great goodness sets us free. Never give up trusting, bonding and caring. Enlarge and grow our compassion; embrace our own lives and the lives of strangers.

An increase and expansion of understanding how valuable and precious our lives are, our gorgeous interdependence and fully comprehending the minds of those devoid of humanity, will narrow and diminish the antisocial psychopath’s effect on individuals, families, communities and in the world. Remain human and humane.

Encouragement means to plant the seed of courage in the lives of others. ~ Daisaku Ikeda

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As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.

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