Text: Good Morning Beautiful

So! You’ve just met someone new!
Out of the blue and you’re on cloud nine.
Vibin’ like crazy!

Have you had that incoming early morning text: good morning beautiful? A few hours later: you’re on my mind. Another text: I miss you. Afternoon text: I can’t stop thinking of your smile… Late-night text: what did you do today? And later night text: sleep tight.

I know how amazing it feels! And also I know that if it had stayed feeling good, you wouldn’t be reading this right now. I’m so sorry you crossed paths with someone who can drop you like a hot potato like it was all nothing. – Because you are not nothing. You’re real and amazing and you’re gorgeous inside and out.

Texting Is a Tool to Ensnare Prey for a Sociopath

Texting is the pathological user’s best friend. What on earth did they do before technology!? The pathological user and hunter make good use of the digital realm for their survival. And now that we’re all on lockdown, it’s all they have.

Smiley face, heart, kissy face, and xoxoxo pinging your phone night and day? Yeah, that’s not a fully-fledged human behind that text. If this is what you get at random times throughout the day along with good morning beautiful in the AM, my suggestion to you is: run.

Why is it that sociopaths (narcissists) send so many texts? Sociopaths text because contact is key.

Fast and swift and constant contact lure in the prey (supply). Quick moves to lodge themselves in our psyche are the sociopath’s (narcissist’s) only chance.

Getting their venom deeply injected, and sucking us into their vortex is a matter of their survival. – Nothing they do is casual.

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No One Can Stop Them For You

That one singular text, good morning beautiful, is a dead giveaway. If you’re getting those gut-clenching “good morning beautiful” texts, you can have no idea how much I wish my superpower was to reach through the screen and block the sender of that sugar-coated bait for you! If only and before you’re hypnotized.

But, sad to say it doesn’t work like this. Warnings or advice or even accurate information about what these creatures are doesn’t end until the ensnared person gets to a point where they see enough to end it.

Each of us breaks away when we break away. We each have a moment when the spell breaks. It’s a different moment for each of us and comes in its own time.

🤗😍😘Emoji Kissy Face, Heart, Thumbs Up, Kissy Face

Who Do Sociopaths (Narcissists) Want to Hook By Text All Day?

Who do pathological users want? Oh… a young college student who might now be back at home with nothing much to do. A student on hiatus with massive plans and a budding career. Or say, a wife and mother of two. A dad of three, married and looking ahead to a likely mutual divorce once the kids are a few years older. A divorced gent or lady feeling the stings of an empty nest and managing a home and life solo..

Along the way, the whole “relationship” has been one thing for us and another experience altogether for the narcissistic user.

Maybe someone introverted or shy who feels best in support roles. Or a strong leader who runs a team or has their own entrepreneurial endeavors humming away.

Single and never married, married twice, and divorced twice. No kids or a lotta kids. Divorced once and never remarried but now dreaming of a life partner to grow together towards and into retirement. Twenty-five and longing for that white picket fence. Thirty-two and ready to start a family. Basically and specifically, a sociopath sees every human on earth as potential prey. Any human on earth.

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Entanglements Begin Because of What They Are

Notice the pattern here? Can you tell which kind of person a sociopath (narcissist) wants to bait and hook…? You know, bombarded with that thing we call love bombing?

Yes. Sociopaths, (narcissists), pathological predatory users want and attempt to engage absolutely anyone – and they hope everyone – into a “relationship” that is a scam and fraud of deceptions and lies and horrific intentions. They cannot *not* behave this way. This is all they do. All day, all night. Think of this as their job… because they do.

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The Beginning Seems Natural Enough

Let’s say you meet someone through a friend or through work. You’re single and looking. Or single yet dating is the farthest thing from your mind. As a person, you’re dependable, responsible, loyal, a hard worker, ethical, and have the courage of your convictions. You’re great. Like super great.

Weird Excitement Takes Over

So, sure, why not go out with this amazing person who seems to have fallen from the sky right from our dreams? Or this bloke who’s come back into our life after not a single word since high school. Or this gorgeous-looking woman who bought our coffee from across the room at a Starbucks.

Were our feelings about this mess ever consciously accurate from the day we met or the day it ended? Or anywhere in between?

Let’s say you met online. And maybe they say that they live in Milwaukee but you live in Bozeman, Montana. That’s okay…! And no problem because the next text they send says they’re traveling to Bozeman for business any day now!

So you keep talking, you do stay in touch even though… somehow, there’s something… a little niggling, a nagging little tug in the back of your mind. And yet – omg – even more so, you can’t wait for that next text to buzz into your phone! And when it does, there’s such a weird excitement. Heck, why not? It’s harmless, right?

The Cycle of Bait And Hook

And so it starts… the love-bombing aka bait. First, it’s something like, can we meet for coffee? You’re not like anyone I’ve met before. We think, well, yeah I am pretty awesome! And we’re also wondering and thinking, really? With that, we agree, and off to coffee, we go.

Let’s put our feelings aside, just for a moment, and part the heavy drapery and the veil of pain… What is actually happening?

From that moment, we’re a tiny bit lifted off the ground. Anticipatory with an extra edge. Excited, nervous. If we could think about it, you could likely say we’re a little wary as we get ready to go and – at the same time, as we watch ourselves plow through getting ready. And hustling to be there on time. Palms sweating as we search for parking.

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That Strange Elevated Excitement

Heaven’s to Betsy…! Why are we so “elated”? Why are we that tiny teensy bit off-balance? What’s this off-kilter feeling? Drum roll: this is coercive control. Yes. Here it is already. Coercive control begins long before that obvious and grand threat, do this or else.

That hook that pulls us in while at the same time we kind of want to get away begins the moment we meet and like them. By the time coercive control gets to the obvious emotional blackmail, and to threats, or violence, their profound hold on us is too rooted and too large for us to simply step away.

Sociopaths, Psychopaths, Narcissists (Whatever You Call Them) Have an Exaggerated Influence Over Others

In the very beginning, it’s the uncanny power of influence the pathological user has that ensnares us into the fairytale romance. Or this unlikely, but so thrilling new adventure. This effect is innate in them. It’s not a skill. Not intelligence. It’s just what they are.

The paradise romance continues into troubled romance, into working hard to fix it, into lots of sad days, and so much confusion, and into unbelievable pain and then to our world falling from beneath our feet, to broken.

They do learn lines, you’re the one. I can see it. We can make this a forever thing. Much later with the words in a text, I’m not sure I can do this anymore. I need to work on me. Or, I’m done. Leave me alone you’re crazy.

And these are words we take to heart. Because we’re normal… and because – here’s a hard fact – pathological users have an effect on normal people that normal people don’t have on normal people. Yes. Sociopaths have an effect on people that normal people don’t have on normal people.

Why Do Sociopaths (“Narcissists”) Text So Much?

Why is it that sociopaths (narcissists) send so many texts? Sociopaths text frequently because contact is key. Fast and swift and constant contact lures in the prey. Quick moves to lodge themselves in our psyche are the sociopath’s (narcissist’s) only chance.

No contact ends everything, takes away everything and the sociopath (narcissist) comprehends no contact. Our words – typed, texts, or spoken only mean we’re still available to play.

And texting…? Well so much easier on them than a phone call or face-to-face. In the few tapped-out words and letters of a text, it’s far easier to fake “real”. – And yah know what? We read between the lines from our own hearts, our own experiences of life, and the world.

Without contact – instant constant, and then persistent contact, they get nothing. This is why when it blows up, the strongest move for our well-being that we can possibly make is to go no contact. No contact ends everything. They can’t reach us.

If You’re Texting, Talking, or Responding: You’re Still In It

Our words – typed, texts, or spoken only mean we’re still available to play. There is nothing we can say to them that doesn’t mean our door is still open from their point of view.

By making it impossible for them to contact us, metaphorically and mystically, or you could say spiritually, we’re making a statement, taking a stance by closing every opening from our life to theirs. And: the sociopath (“narcissist”) comprehends no contact; for them no contact isn’t simply silence… It’s the loudest and most meaningful thing we can communicate.

The Entire “Relationship” Is Bait and Hook, Bait and Hook

And so it continues throughout the entire cycle of time ensnared… in love, in a relationship, living with, married to, or otherwise involved with a pathological user.

There’s only one type of person a pathological user would have no interest in. The person who fully, profoundly, and calmly accepts that sociopaths (narcissists) exist and knows what that means.

The paradise romance continues into troubled romance, into working hard to fix it, into lots of sad days, and so much confusion, and into unbelievable pain, and then to our world falling from beneath our feet, to broken.

There’s a sort of standardized current breakdown of the stages of narcissistic abuse or coercive control into love bombing, idealizing, devaluing, and discarding. This is how we feel… But are our feelings the best way to understand what’s happening?

Are our feelings that have been inspired by this mess, an accurate gauge to see what they’re truly doing? Or what it is they actually want? – Nope. They are not. Here’s why: Our normal human emotions – our very normal humanness – are bent and twisted unknowingly by us and instinctively by them to their advantage and gain at the cost of our mental, and physical – destruction and possible ruin.

Our Emotions Bind Us to The Sociopath Predator

These predatory parasitic pathological users know that they are not in a relationship. They know that we think we are in a relationship…and they count on this. What they’re after is so simplistic: to do whatever they want and to do and not be stopped. That is absolutely it. That’s all that’s happening. – And that’s plenty.

The pathologically narcissistic user is always and only motivated by these two very simple things. Are you able to see that neither of these two things has to do with our emotions specifically? It’s difficult to articulate what happens to us in these nightmares, and it’s equally difficult to articulate these distinctions.

I see their words and motivation as “bait and hook”. Bait and hook, bait and hook. The first bit of bait is “hello”. – Who is hooked and who isn’t has to do with myriad minuscule underlying conditions and circumstances in our lives that can be summed up as: “Do we think they’re cute”? If we do: we’re hooked.

Along the way, the whole “relationship” has been one thing for us and another experience altogether for the narcissistic user. Throughout and at the bitter, bitter end, we’re swathed and swaddled and trapped in a quagmire of emotion. They’re skipping away free as a bird.

How Can Someone Just Throw Someone Away?

Even though saying this perhaps won’t make a change for you now, please hang onto this: any person sending you a good morning beautiful text the day after you met is a sociopath.

You might think of them as a “narcissist”, but if they fit this pattern: they’re behavior is that of a sociopath… And that’s what counts. Whatever you call them, block them as soon as you can.

Let’s put our feelings aside, just for a moment, and part the heavy drapery and the veil of pain… What is actually happening? What are they actually doing?

Hint: There’s nothing a predator does “just to make us feel bad”. Another hint: no sociopath does anything purely out of ego no matter how huge that ego is. Decoding this is essential to our emotional freedom, healing, and well-being.

But We’re Broken Up!!

Are you still getting “good morning beautiful” after the so-called break-up? Highly common. This is because – it wasn’t a relationship. You were and are prey and they want more. This is a strange-strange bit about the pathological predators that’s really hard to take in. They don’t stop it all… we do. This is what no contact is all about. If we don’t go no contact we’re in for more and they believe we’re up for it.

Is Anyone Safe from a Sociopath or Narcissist aka Pathological User?

To my mind, our job in the aftermath is to get to the root of that coercive control and yank it out. We can only do this by truly understanding what happened. Emotional interpretations for their reasons and motivations are a dead end. We owe it to ourselves to discover a new truth. This is how we win our lives back.

There’s only one type of person a pathological user has no interest in. The person who fully, profoundly, and calmly accepts that sociopaths exist (“narcissists” if you’re still calling them that) and knows what it means when someone is a sociopath (which is not covered in the notions contained in the term “narcissist”).

They aren’t interested in those who know this so much that we can see through their transparent and simple minds.

We can become those people. This is truly how we transform this experience and change our world. This is how we become user-proof forever.

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

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As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.