Am I Dating a Sociopath?

Dating someone a little odd..?
Surrounded by a foggy state of confusion?
This is a sign that you’re dating a sociopath.

By the time we’re wondering if the guy or girl we’re dating is a sociopath, this thought has floated to the surface of our conscious mind because things are bad… right?

This idea rises up to our conscious mind from some space in our gut. In my experience, it isn’t a thought I put together but almost a voice fomr soemwhere else in my body. This occurs because we’re feeling icky and are seeking an answer. A kind of indescribable icky feeling is often the precursor to the unconscious voice of the gut. We’re feeling unhappiness, and an unsettled, sinking feeling and we’ve discovered this uneasiness stems from them.

Dating a Sociopath: People Who Do Not Connect or Care

Here’s the thing, if we’re Googling, am I dating a sociopath, that’s pretty much the answer to our question… it’s shocking; we can’t believe it. We need more; there’s much more to know. You’ve found the place to find it. Congratulations, and keep on following your instincts.

Dating a sociopath – a pathologically narcissistic being – feels the weird way that it does because these are people who don’t connect or care in any genuine way… There are specific sensations this creates within us as we try to connect with them.

When dating a sociopat – that creature many people call a “narcissist” – there’s a feeling that we’re here and we’re trying, but “nobody’s home” from their side.

You’re going from feeling ignored, and confused to showered with gifts or nights on the town, and yet, there’s something missing, something is off. As the week ago by, the days and nights of feeling wrong-footed and off-balance didn’t let up. – Our buzzing feelings of unease and instability increase in intensity.

Blame and Shame

Have they done their best to make you think the problem is you? It’s in their best interest to lead you to think so. Let me tell you: it isn’t you, it is them. There’s nothing “bad” that you did, and nothing “bad” that you are that causes this or that “attracted” a sociopath.

There’s nothing about us other than being alive and human and a sociopath needing dinner that brought a sociopath knocking on our door. They try many, many doors, every door, any door.

There are answers you didn’t know were out there…

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Freedom Is in Our Hands

Anyone a sociopath encounters is a potential target, that’s a hard-cold fact. Whether you’ve been calling them a narcissist or you are looking at the idea that you’re dating a sociopath, don’t let anyone – including yourself – tell you that this was caused by something about you.

This happens for one reason only; this occurs because predators exist. Parasites exist. And they find us because we’re gorgeous normal humans who are breathing.

And the good news is, you can get out. You can restore your life if you keep on looking for answers. – The kind of answers that leave no blame or fault or reason based on “lack” of something or other at your feet. Accept nothing less.

Somethings Not Right

It’s traumatic to arrive at the thought that this person we’re dating could be a sociopath. It takes courage and persistence to keep on the path of discovering this reality. This traumatic moment is the gateway to truth and freedom from ever dating one of these beasts again.

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A Chasm Wider Than the Grand Canyon

Sociopaths – called narcissists by lots of people – are simply not the same as we are. They see the world in a different way – and live in a different way – because they’re different. Biologically, scientifically part of their brain doesn’t work. This blanked-out area of their brains is the area that allows feelings of caring, or love, and any real connection with others. That part is not there.

Built into us is the ability to connect. We live by connecting, bonding, and creating friends, and families. Since that’s missing within them, built into them instead is the element of “charming” people as a way of survival, a way of life.

Dating a Sociopath: Charmed into Their World

Like the Pied Piper, like a snake charmer, like an animal that stuns its prey before eating it this bit of equipment is inside the pathological user. It isn’t a skill per se… it comes with them… like a set of lungs and their empty hearts.

The sociopath – narcissist – has the built-in element of “coercive control“, the hypnotic effect that hooks people into their vortex if that person likes them. – And we think at this moment of capture that they’re the most amazing human on the planet.

Breaking Up With Evil: Escaping Coercive Control

Do you have your copy of Breaking Up with Evil: Escaping Coercive Control? If not, it’s on Amazon waiting for you…

It’s possibly the perfect gift for yourself or for that friend who is maybe dating a sociopath.

“His name was Brian, a name I’ve always liked. He wanted to meet for dinner at a Mexican restaurant in my area, making it easy for me so I didn’t have to drive anywhere. He was tall poised, smart, shy, and balding with a big belly. He had a handsome face. Over dinner, we discovered we both liked beer and football and were from the Midwest. He said he was a widower and had lost his wife to breast cancer. He seemed like a lonely businessman.” ~ Breaking Up with Evil, Chapter 5, Yumiko N. Entry No. 02 The Love Story

Recovery filled with lightbulb moments.
Reclaim your life.

Sociopaths -Narcissists- Need Others

Any breathing human being is a potential target in the eyes of a sociopath. Take no responsibility for the inhumanity of a sociopath; we can’t change them. They cannot change themselves. And by the way, they love being what they are.

Being under the hypnotic influence of a charming, amazing (so not really) sociopath can fade our memory of what being in something real with someone good is all about. The time spent with them makes us doubt ourselves as an aspect of the trauma and the PTSD. In the aftermath, it’s normal to doubt that life can be good again, particularly in the area of romance.

Escaping the charms and hypnotic pull of a sociopath is huge. We need all the ammunition we can muster to safely cut them off and break free and recover. Maybe a reminder of what real true love looks like will help.

A Peek Into Normal Can Clear the Way

There’s a book that’s a fun and über feel-good reminder of what it feels like when love is normal. It’s called He’s Just Not That Into You, written by Greg Behrendt, a former writer on the early 2000s HBO show Sex and the City. These might seem old school and out of date as current reference points, but they’re relevant.

He’s Just Not That Into You, as unlikely a title as could be, is encouraging and a reminder of what love feels like when it’s good. It points up our value as humans, as women, and that love is meant to be joyful. I’m a fan of the phrase Greg coins which can give a boost to us all, don’t waste the pretty.

Normal Doesn’t Involve Confusion

All in all, if we’re asking, am I dating a sociopath? – or, am I dating a narcissist? – we very much are dating a sociopath.

That and the feeling of being afraid to go and afraid to stay at the same time… this is the result of dating a sociopath. There’s no mistaking the confusion, anxiety, and doubt they bring into the lives of others that are not the ingredients of real love.

Since these are not ordinary circumstances, know that dropping them will take as long as it takes. Believe that it’s best done without a long discussion or explanation. – Imagine giving your best beauty pageant wave and saying, goodbye to Mr. or Ms. Wrong, and remember what real true love is all about.

Dating a Sociopath, Leaving a Narcissist Isn’t Easy

While it won’t be this easy, know this: every bit of how you’re feeling right now is how it is if we’ve been dating a sociopath. And this is how leaving and the aftermath begins. You were right to Google and you’ve found one of the best resources on the planet… Read this website page to page, and maybe book some sessions. Or email me.

The way you’re feeling is not the new you; it’s temporary and it’s where the answers are and where the recovery comes from. There’s nothing wrong with you, there’s everything right with you.

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

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As a certified coach, upholding industry standards I strive to inform, educate, invite thought and dialogue, to co-plan, co-strategize, advise, consult, refer, recommend, train, teach, guide and coach people in guided recovery and discovery specific to these crimes, and from hell and broken in the aftermath to whole again, and more. You decide what winning is.